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Offline Shiela_M

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Reply #4500 on: March 28, 2023, 05:36:01 AM
My dad told me that he always wanted to go see one of the weird talk shows like Dr. Phil, or Jerry Springer. Thought it would be fun and a good laugh. I told my brother this, so he got me pregnant!

We're on next Wednesday!



Offline ObiDongKenobi

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Reply #4501 on: March 28, 2023, 11:42:59 AM
My dad told me that he always wanted to go see one of the weird talk shows like Dr. Phil, or Jerry Springer. Thought it would be fun and a good laugh. I told my brother this, so he got me pregnant!

We're on next Wednesday!

 ;D ;D ;D and a woo

Princess, would you like to see it light up and hum when I wave it about


Offline purpleshoes

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Reply #4502 on: March 31, 2023, 12:32:43 PM
A man was driving along the highway and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately it jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay the rabbit was dead.

The driver felt so awful he began to cry. A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying by the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked him what was wrong. "I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."

The woman told the man not to worry and that she knew what to do. She went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit.

Miraculously the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved his paw at the two humans and hopped down the road. 50 feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved and then hopped down the road another 50 feet, turned, waved. It continued hopping, turning and waving every 50 feet until it was out of sight.

The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can. He ran over to the woman and asked "What is in your spray can? What did you spray on that rabbit?" The woman turned the can around so the man could read the label.

It said: Hair spray - Restores life to dead hair - Adds permanent wave.



Online msslave

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Reply #4503 on: March 31, 2023, 01:10:16 PM
I get to start my day off with a chuckle. Thanks Purple and WOO.

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Offline Pornhubby

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Reply #4504 on: March 31, 2023, 06:49:00 PM


 :emot_laughing:

”You can be mad as a mad dog at the way things went.  You can swear and curse the fates.  But when it comes to the end, you have to let go.” — The Curious Case of Benjamin Button



Offline purpleshoes

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Reply #4505 on: April 09, 2023, 12:39:36 PM


My wife said, "What starts with an F and ends with a K."

I shook my head and said, "No it doesn't."




Offline Pornhubby

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Reply #4506 on: April 09, 2023, 07:04:38 PM
I’m gonna give you a woo, but only because that was just God awful. I had to read it twice.  :emot_laughing:

”You can be mad as a mad dog at the way things went.  You can swear and curse the fates.  But when it comes to the end, you have to let go.” — The Curious Case of Benjamin Button



Offline ObiDongKenobi

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Reply #4507 on: April 09, 2023, 08:15:05 PM
I’m gonna give you a woo, but only because that was just God awful. I had to read it twice.  :emot_laughing:

Likewise  :facepalm:

Princess, would you like to see it light up and hum when I wave it about


Offline staci

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Reply #4508 on: April 09, 2023, 08:47:26 PM
I'm still reading it.

one of the originals


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Reply #4509 on: April 09, 2023, 08:48:04 PM
If it's not a three groaner it's not Purple  :emot_laughing:

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Reply #4510 on: April 09, 2023, 08:49:48 PM
I'm still reading it.
Step into my room Staci and I'll explain it to you. May take a while. ;D :emot_kiss:

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville


Offline Blue_Eyes

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Reply #4511 on: April 10, 2023, 06:00:57 AM
I'm still reading it.
Step into my room Staci and I'll explain it to you. May take a while. ;D :emot_kiss:
Mind if I join you and Staci, msslave? I'm still reading it too. ;D



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Reply #4512 on: April 10, 2023, 03:37:58 PM
The more I see people struggling with Purple's latest joke, the funnier it gets to me. :emot_laughing:

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville


Offline Shiela_M

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Reply #4513 on: April 10, 2023, 03:55:15 PM
I want to say but dont want to spoil msslaves fun.

My dad says the joke differently, so obviously I love it. Woo purpleshoes



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Reply #4514 on: April 10, 2023, 04:47:24 PM
I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville


Offline Shiela_M

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Reply #4515 on: April 10, 2023, 05:38:34 PM
Eating breakfast with my family the other morning and my dad kept telling breakfast jokes.

I told him if he told one more breakfast related pun, he's toast.

My brother thought it would be funny to keep egging him on. He's such a ham

****
I tried creating a job search app for unemployed people.  But it didn't work.


****
(Pretty sure I saw this one posted)
When the creators of viagra were asked why they changed its purpose from blood pressure medicine to what it is today, they said "after seeing the results, it wasn't hard"

****
 I was rummaging through my room at my dads house yesterday. He came into the room and asked me what I was looking for.

I said "a bookmark"

He started crying and said "after all these years. You still don't know my name is Robert."

****
I seen a guy who's suspected of burglary kicking in his own door.  Covid even has them working from home

****
Stopped at a zoo the day that only had one animal. A dog
It was a shiht-zu



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Reply #4516 on: April 10, 2023, 05:45:15 PM
I was doing good until I got to the bookmark joke. It took me the fourth reading before it clicked  :facepalm:

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Offline staci

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Reply #4517 on: April 10, 2023, 08:45:05 PM
You are worser than me.

one of the originals


Online MintJulie

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Reply #4518 on: April 11, 2023, 02:00:13 AM
I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.


Oh gosh, that's funny.   But wait, have I heard that one before.  Maybe? 




;)

 :-*   Love you and missed you.


S, hilarious.  The breakfast ones.  hahaha

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Reply #4519 on: April 11, 2023, 03:32:07 AM
I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.


Oh gosh, that's funny.   But wait, have I heard that one before.  Maybe? 

Oh Gee! And only a month ago :facepalm:

Oh wait, I almost forgot, I have my old man's failing memory card. Gives me a free pass. :emot_laughing:
 

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville