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Offline msslave

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Reply #3740 on: March 05, 2021, 06:24:58 PM

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline Army of One

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Reply #3741 on: March 09, 2021, 10:49:15 AM
Everyone knows Disney's The Little Mermaid. It's a favourite of many (although I've never seen it; I have heard said that the themes are a bit on-the-nose in the modern day and age). However, what escapes the notice of many was the poster art and VHS cover art for the film, which were drawn in great haste, apparently. (Contrary to popular rumour, he was in pretty good stead with Disney.) As it turned out, one of the erections on the palace in both the poster and the cover was unusually phallic.


Image from Quora

Now, this originally escaped the purview of many a cinephile until someone complained about it. Then it hit talkback radio. Eventually they did remove the spire in question from future rereleases, as keeping it in after being brought to their attention would be a major cock-up.

(Yes, that is the joke. An informative one, but a joke nonetheless.)

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Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #3742 on: March 13, 2021, 08:34:07 AM
Larry The Cable Guy:

"America is the fattiest country in the world. Two-thirds of all Americans are overweight or obese.

"I think they ate the other third."

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline Army of One

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Reply #3743 on: March 13, 2021, 01:43:16 PM
During a visit to a homewares shop, my wife and I find letter pillows on sale.

Wife: [picks up D] I like the D.

Me: [picks up a P] I like the P.

[beat]

Me: That is not what I meant.

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Offline msslave

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Reply #3744 on: March 17, 2021, 12:28:04 PM

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline Dudester

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Reply #3745 on: March 22, 2021, 03:56:27 PM
What made my day-a joke I read.
Man comes home and finds note on his fridge from his wife. Note: This isn't working for me anymore. I'm going to my mom's.
Man:"I opened the fridge and found the beer cold. Don't know what she's talking about."


DurtyDurtyGirl

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Reply #3746 on: March 23, 2021, 12:28:59 AM
Something reminded me of this one today

"Hurt me! Hurt me!" begged the masochist...
...and the Sadist replied "No".


Offline watcher1

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Reply #3747 on: March 23, 2021, 06:02:53 PM
Quote from: DurtyDurtyGirl on March 23, 2021, 12:28:59 AM
Something reminded me of this one today

"Hurt me! Hurt me!" begged the masochist...
...and the Sadist replied "No".

Watcher wonders what made DurtyDurtyGurl think of the joke.  8)

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Offline Dudester

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Reply #3748 on: March 24, 2021, 08:04:16 PM
In England, when you turn 100 you get a card from the Queen.
When you turn 16, you get a text from Prince Andrew.


Got my wife a "Get Better soon" card.
She isn't sick, I just think she can get better.


Offline Dudester

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Reply #3749 on: March 28, 2021, 04:17:48 AM
‌‌I wa‌‌s crossin‌‌g th‌‌e stree‌‌t whe‌‌n ‌‌I suddenl‌‌y notice‌‌d m‌‌y e‌‌x gettin‌‌g ru‌‌n ove‌‌r b‌‌y ‌‌a bus‌‌. ‌‌

I though‌‌t t‌‌o myself‌‌, "Wow‌‌! Tha‌‌t coul‌‌d hav‌‌e bee‌‌n me!"

The‌‌n ‌‌I remembere‌‌d ‌‌I can’‌‌t driv‌‌e ‌‌a bus


Offline Dudester

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Reply #3750 on: March 29, 2021, 04:48:53 PM
I told my brother, "My wife ran off with my best friend Joe yesterday."

My brother looked at me funny for a minute then asked, "Since when is Joe your best friend?"

I looked back and replied "Since yesterday."


Offline Dudester

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Reply #3751 on: March 30, 2021, 03:01:32 AM
I recently got a job as a bartender at a strip club...

I've never worked so hard in my life.


Offline Dudester

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Reply #3752 on: March 30, 2021, 05:22:53 AM
Guys, if your marriage fails don't just blame her.

It takes 2 people to make a toxic relationship.

Blame her and her mother.


Offline Dudester

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Reply #3753 on: March 30, 2021, 05:49:05 PM
After my wife died I couldn’t look at women for 20 years...

But when I got out of prison, it was totally worth it


Offline staci

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Reply #3754 on: March 30, 2021, 06:07:28 PM
Ba da Boom.

one of the originals

_priapism

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Reply #3755 on: March 30, 2021, 08:59:32 PM
These are right out of the Henny Youngman joke book.  Google that if you were born after 1960.


Offline ObiDongKenobi

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Reply #3756 on: March 31, 2021, 05:01:36 PM

I'm so narcissistic that during sex I call out my own name.


Princess, would you like to see it light up and hum when I wave it about

Offline msslave

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Reply #3757 on: March 31, 2021, 05:09:38 PM
 :emot_laughing:

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline Dudester

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Reply #3758 on: March 31, 2021, 06:36:13 PM
What did one Catholic Priest say to the other Priests?

Let us PREY


Offline watcher1

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Reply #3759 on: April 01, 2021, 07:57:07 PM
Quote from: ObiDongKenobi on March 31, 2021, 05:01:36 PM

I'm so narcissistic that during sex I call out my own name.

Isn't that we call masturbation?  ;D ;D

Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.

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