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Offline Pornhubby

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Reply #5060 on: April 19, 2024, 07:24:52 PM
Seen on Quora:

I got pulled over on the HWY for going 7 mph over the speed limit. 🚓

As the officer started walking up to my truck, i rolled my windows down ..... 🚙

My adorable and apparently INCREDIBLY smart 7 yr old Granddaughter, started screaming from the backseat:

“It’s coming out!!!!!” 😱😱😱😱😱😱

“I can’t hold it any longer Paw Pawwww”😳😳😳😳

“It’s almost here!!!!!!!! Paw Pawwww!!!”

Now the trooper is HEARING her scream this....

and he stands up on my brush guard leans in the window and asks her “What’s going on here???”

She looks him 💀 DEAD IN THE FACE 💀

And says “I’ve got poop coming outta my butt!!”🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

He started laughing 😂😂😂😂

I must have looked shocked and embarrassed 😭😭😭😭😭

He asked how far I had to go, which was about 2 miles home. He told me to drive safe and get Miss Thang home to do her business. He could NOT stop laughing😂😂😂

As soon as we pulled away I asked “What the hell was that about???”😳😳😳😳😳😳

This kid, smirked and said “I saw it on YouTube but I didn’t think it would work”🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

I said “So...... You're not pooping 💩?”

She said nope and you're not in trouble either.

OMG 👀👀👀

This kid is my hero 🦸‍♀️

”You can be mad as a mad dog at the way things went.  You can swear and curse the fates.  But when it comes to the end, you have to let go.” — The Curious Case of Benjamin Button



Offline msslave

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Reply #5061 on: April 19, 2024, 07:56:24 PM
 :emot_laughing: :emot_laughing: :emot_laughing:

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville


Offline Yarshi

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Reply #5062 on: April 25, 2024, 09:07:29 PM
Seen on Quora:

This kid is my hero 🦸‍♀️

Mine too! Woooooo!



Offline Yarshi

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Reply #5063 on: April 25, 2024, 09:09:32 PM
I went to the gynecologist today, she told me to stop masturbating.


 I said why? 


She said I’m trying to examine you.

 :emot_laughing: :emot_laughing: :emot_laughing: :emot_laughing: Woo'ing all the way!



Offline watcher1

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Reply #5064 on: April 26, 2024, 03:46:44 PM
My wife accidently drank a bottle of invisible ink. She is in the ER now, waiting to be seen.  ;D

Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.


Offline ObiDongKenobi

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Reply #5065 on: April 26, 2024, 04:45:11 PM
My wife had to go to A&E after swallowing some coins. I called about her condition and was told "no change"


Princess, would you like to see it light up and hum when I wave it about


Offline msslave

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Reply #5066 on: April 27, 2024, 05:59:25 PM
How do you know when you're talking to an extra terrestrial?




They ask lots of probing questions.

 :D :D :D

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville


Offline Yarshi

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Reply #5067 on: April 27, 2024, 10:24:56 PM
How to tell if a man is virile...

His partner has to chew before they can swallow...

 :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:

I'll see my way out...