I'm not sure this belongs here, but because of how poorly my mom treated me in my life, I take a little joy when something harmless pisses her off. So, it made my day.
Before telling the story that irked her, you should know that I broke up with my girlfriend 3 weeks ago. Please...No 'I'm sorry' or anything. It's fine. It's for the best. And I'd prefer not talk about it either here or in PM. Thank you.
So, my niece and I, along with my parents, were invited to Easter Dinner at my brother-in-laws brothers house, I'll call him Jack. Sitting eating, the conversation turned to my break up. Jack gives me a serious look and says, "Jules, you're a good catch. Don't let this bring you down. Hold your head up high, be confident and get out there and write your name in as many bathroom stalls as you can." I laughed along with everyone else.
His 20 year old daughter says, "Don't worry aunt Julie, we'll go out and pick up guys together." That shut her protective daddy's mouth up.
Then she adds, "Wait, are you going to date girls now? Or guys again?"
I said, "I don't know. I guess it depends."
"So you're bi-?"
I think about it and nod.
My mom says, "Can we stop talking openly about sinning at our Easter dinner celebration."
Everybody shuts up for a moment. My daddy breaks the silence with, "Hey, there's an upside to being bisexual, you have twice as many prospects."
My mom got up from the table.