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Author Topic: Joke of the Day  (Read 234840 times)
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Shiela_M
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« Reply #3600 on: May 18, 2020, 05:52:25 PM »

What does covid-19 and the vietnam war have in common?

Trump ran away from both.
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ToeinH2O
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« Reply #3601 on: May 18, 2020, 07:06:51 PM »

What does covid-19 and the vietnam war have in common?

Trump ran away from both.

 emot_laughing emot_laughing emot_laughing

And over 50,000 unnecessary deaths...
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ObiDongKenobi
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« Reply #3602 on: May 18, 2020, 09:00:07 PM »



Three nuns and their Mother Superior died on the same day.  At the pearly gates they were met by St. Peter who said he had to ask them each a religious question before allowing them to enter heaven.

St. Peter to first nun: "What was the name of the first man on earth?"
First Nun: "Adam"
St. Peter: "Correct sister, in you go."

St. Peter to second nun: "What was the name of the first woman on earth?"
Second Nun: "Eve"
St. Peter: "Correct sister, in you go."

St. Peter to third nun: "What was the name of the place where Adam and Eve lived?"
Third Nun: "The Garden of Eden"
St. Peter: "Correct sister, in you go."

St. Peter: "Now Mother Superior because of your seniority your question has to be a more difficult. What were Eve's first words when she saw Adam?"
Mother Superior: "Mmmm, that is a hard one."
St. Peter: "In you go."




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msslave
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« Reply #3603 on: May 18, 2020, 09:07:30 PM »

 emot_laughing emot_laughing
Guess she spoke from experience. Grin
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« Reply #3604 on: May 18, 2020, 10:25:34 PM »

Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
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« Reply #3605 on: May 28, 2020, 09:15:59 PM »

Great Joke  emot_laughing
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« Reply #3606 on: June 03, 2020, 02:38:49 PM »

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« Reply #3607 on: June 03, 2020, 02:44:02 PM »

 emot_laughing emot_laughing emot_laughing emot_laughing
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ToeinH2O
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« Reply #3608 on: June 03, 2020, 07:32:03 PM »

An oldie, but a goody!   emot_laughing emot_laughing emot_laughing

for those of you who have not heard of "Bruster the Rooster"

Bruster the Rooster was the horniest thing alive.  He'd try to breed anything alive.  Of course, he tended to all the hens, but he'd also try the goat, dog, gopher or anything else he could catch.

The farmer kept telling him, "Bruster, you're going to fuck yourself to death one day."

One summer day the farmer looks out his window and sees Bruster laying motionless in the yard, buzzards circling overhead.  The farmer walks out to the body, shovel in hand, and says:
"Bruster, I told ya you were going to kill yourself."

Bruster opened one eye, pointed up and said "Shhh, they're about to land."
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« Reply #3609 on: June 05, 2020, 03:53:13 PM »

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« Reply #3610 on: June 05, 2020, 04:02:53 PM »

 emot_laughing Well...at least that's something I won't hear from my wife.
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« Reply #3611 on: June 06, 2020, 09:58:34 PM »

For several years, a married man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided to him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his marriage, he said he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write, 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child support to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

'Honey, she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.'

'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written: 'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without. Send extra sauce.'
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« Reply #3612 on: June 06, 2020, 10:07:35 PM »


On the card was written: 'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without. Send extra sauce.'


LOL. And woo.  I seem to recall watcher’s woman is Italian. 

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Shiela_M
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« Reply #3613 on: June 06, 2020, 10:47:21 PM »

And here I'm thinking the "extra sauce" is what got him into this mess.
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ToeinH2O
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« Reply #3614 on: June 06, 2020, 11:50:44 PM »

And here I'm thinking the "extra sauce" is what got him into this mess.

My first reaction as well.  My wife calls it “your sauce.”  As in, “I’m hungry tonight, I hope you made a lot of your sauce for me.”

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