KRISTEN'S BOARD
KB - a better class of pervert

News:

  • Looking for
    KRISTEN'S ARCHIVES
    click here
  • #TEAM-MSSLAVE
    You Got This!
  • #TEAM-MSSLAVE
    We Love You!
  • #TEAM-MSSLAVE
    Stay Strong. Fight Like Hell!
  • Become a member for access to more areas of our message board, it's free!  Register here.
  • Congratulations to Shiela
    Kristen's Board 2021 Pervert Of The Year!

Joke of the Day

Guest · 266509

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Shiela_M

  • POY 2020 & 2021
  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 4,443
    • Woos/Boos: +1565/-4
    • Gender: Female
  • I said it's weird, not that I wouldn't do it.
Reply #4050 on: May 31, 2022, 09:53:14 PM
What's the difference between medium and rare?

5 inches is medium, 8 is rare.

I survive because the fire inside burn brighter than the fire around me. I am the Phoenix


Offline Asmodel

  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 1,163
    • Woos/Boos: +0/-679
    • Gender: Male
Reply #4051 on: May 31, 2022, 10:10:47 PM
What's the difference between medium and rare?

5 inches is medium, 8 is rare.
:emot_laughing: :emot_laughing:
A man is getting into the shower
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything under the table that you liked?" Jeff admitted, "Well, yes I did." She said "you can have it, but it will cost you $100." After a minute or two, Jeff indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Dave works Friday afternoons and Jeff doesn't, that Jeff should come to their house around 2:00 PM on Friday.

Friday came and Jeff went to her house at 2:00 PM. After paying her the $100, they went to the bedroom, had sex for a few hours and then Jeff left.

Dave came home about 6:00 PM and asked his wife, "Did Jeff come by this afternoon?" Totally shocked, Sandy replied, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes." Next Dave asked, "Did Jeff give you $100?"

Sandy thought, 'Oh hell, he knows!' reluctantly she said, "Yes, he did give me $100."

"Good," Dave says. "Jeff came by the office this morning and borrowed the $100 from me and said that he'd stop by our house on his way home and pay me back. It's so good to have a friend you can trust."
« Last Edit: May 31, 2022, 10:16:46 PM by Asmodel »



Offline Clitical Thinking

  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 1,687
    • Woos/Boos: +327/-17
    • Gender: Male
Reply #4052 on: May 31, 2022, 10:20:23 PM
What's the difference between medium and rare?

5 inches is medium, 8 is rare.

...but would 10 be "well done"?  :emot_laughing:



Offline purpleshoes

  • Total freak
  • *****
    • Posts: 695
    • Woos/Boos: +278/-10
Reply #4053 on: June 01, 2022, 12:51:11 PM

Genie: I shall grant you 3 wishes.

Me: I wish for a world without lawyers.

Genie: Done. You now have no more wishes.

Me: But you said I had three and that was only one.

Genie:  So sue me.



Offline Asmodel

  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 1,163
    • Woos/Boos: +0/-679
    • Gender: Male
Reply #4054 on: June 01, 2022, 01:00:15 PM

Genie: I shall grant you 3 wishes.

Me: I wish for a world without lawyers.

Genie: Done. You now have no more wishes.

Me: But you said I had three and that was only one.

Genie:  So sue me.
I’d be content with that.



Offline Asmodel

  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 1,163
    • Woos/Boos: +0/-679
    • Gender: Male
Reply #4055 on: June 03, 2022, 04:06:45 PM



Offline Shiela_M

  • POY 2020 & 2021
  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 4,443
    • Woos/Boos: +1565/-4
    • Gender: Female
  • I said it's weird, not that I wouldn't do it.
Reply #4056 on: June 04, 2022, 02:28:22 PM
I heard a rumor that our resident lawyer appropriately named his dick Truth.  Because not everybody can handle Truth, and sometimes Truth hurts.

I survive because the fire inside burn brighter than the fire around me. I am the Phoenix


Offline Asmodel

  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 1,163
    • Woos/Boos: +0/-679
    • Gender: Male
Reply #4057 on: June 04, 2022, 04:30:40 PM
I heard a rumor that our resident lawyer appropriately named his dick Truth.  Because not everybody can handle Truth, and sometimes Truth hurts.
Truth is bitter (and also stings like a hornet), STRICTLY NOT speaking from experience!



Offline Pornhubby

  • POY 2013
  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 1,687
    • Woos/Boos: +545/-22
  • Ph.D in Perversity a/k/a_ToeinH2O
Reply #4058 on: June 04, 2022, 04:37:02 PM
I heard a rumor that our resident lawyer appropriately named his dick Truth.  Because not everybody can handle Truth, and sometimes Truth hurts.

I’m like Gay Pride Month.  A real pain in the ass sometimes.  :emot_laughing:



Offline Shiela_M

  • POY 2020 & 2021
  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 4,443
    • Woos/Boos: +1565/-4
    • Gender: Female
  • I said it's weird, not that I wouldn't do it.
Reply #4059 on: June 04, 2022, 04:38:40 PM
Truth is bitter

I wouldn't say bitter, more of a salty tang 😘

I survive because the fire inside burn brighter than the fire around me. I am the Phoenix


Offline Asmodel

  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 1,163
    • Woos/Boos: +0/-679
    • Gender: Male
Reply #4060 on: June 04, 2022, 05:11:04 PM
Truth is bitter

I wouldn't say bitter, more of a salty tang 😘
Then most likely saltier than the Dead Sea.



Offline Pornhubby

  • POY 2013
  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 1,687
    • Woos/Boos: +545/-22
  • Ph.D in Perversity a/k/a_ToeinH2O
Reply #4061 on: June 04, 2022, 06:14:47 PM



Offline staci

  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 3,364
    • Woos/Boos: +1552/-99
    • Gender: Female
Reply #4062 on: June 04, 2022, 06:37:41 PM
Truth is bitter
. Yes, Truth has it’s consequences

I wouldn't say bitter, more of a salty tang 😘



Offline purpleshoes

  • Total freak
  • *****
    • Posts: 695
    • Woos/Boos: +278/-10
Reply #4063 on: June 06, 2022, 01:26:18 PM

We all had a great time at my grandson's fourth birthday party.

I almost didn't recognize him though.

I've never seen him be four.
 
 :facepalm:



Offline Shiela_M

  • POY 2020 & 2021
  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 4,443
    • Woos/Boos: +1565/-4
    • Gender: Female
  • I said it's weird, not that I wouldn't do it.
Reply #4064 on: June 06, 2022, 02:58:45 PM

We all had a great time at my grandson's fourth birthday party.

I almost didn't recognize him though.

I've never seen him be four.
 
 :facepalm:

 :emot_laughing:

I survive because the fire inside burn brighter than the fire around me. I am the Phoenix