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Offline MissBarbara

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Reply #4260 on: October 01, 2022, 02:45:01 PM

A blonde walked into an electronics store and said to the salesman,: "I want to buy that TV."

The salesman shook his head and said, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

So the blonde left and came back the next day with her hair dyed brown. She told the salesman, "I'll take that TV."

Again the salesman said, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

So she left again and came back the following with her hair dyed black and said, "I want that TV."

But the salesman still said: "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

Finally the blonde got fed up and said, "That's it! How'd you know I was a blonde?!" she asked.

The salesman answered: "Because that's a microwave."





"Sometimes the best things in life are a hot girl and a cold beer."


Online Shiela_M

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Reply #4261 on: October 01, 2022, 03:23:41 PM
Very funny, but you just solved why all I get it's static, so the jokes on you!


Offline watcher1

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Reply #4262 on: October 01, 2022, 03:31:43 PM
Why was the blonde's belly button sore?

Her boyfriend was blonde too.   ;D

Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.

Offline msslave

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Reply #4263 on: October 03, 2022, 05:49:10 PM
What do you call a pony with a sore throat.



A little horse. :D

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline Pornhubby

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Reply #4264 on: October 03, 2022, 06:24:30 PM
Quote from: watcher1 on October 01, 2022, 03:31:43 PM
Why was the blonde's belly button sore?

Her boyfriend was blonde too.   ;D

Miss Bunny:  Gomer… Gomer… GOMER!!! That’s not my belly button!

Gomer Pyle: We’ll surprise! Surprise! Surprise! That ain’t my finger either!

”You can be mad as a mad dog at the way things went.  You can swear and curse the fates.  But when it comes to the end, you have to let go.” — The Curious Case of Benjamin Button


Offline purpleshoes

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Reply #4265 on: October 04, 2022, 12:13:47 PM

What's the best reason for having a party at a haunted house?

You'll save money because the ghosts will bring the boos.

 :facepalm:


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Reply #4266 on: October 04, 2022, 03:37:33 PM
Quote from: purpleshoes on October 04, 2022, 12:13:47 PM

What's the best reason for having a party at a haunted house?

You'll save money because the ghosts will bring the boos.

 :facepalm:

 :emot_laughing:woo


Offline purpleshoes

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Reply #4267 on: October 05, 2022, 12:34:53 PM

Somebody broke into my house and stole ever bit of fruit.

I don't know what to say. I'm peachless.


Offline watcher1

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Reply #4268 on: October 05, 2022, 03:14:46 PM
Quote from: purpleshoes on October 05, 2022, 12:34:53 PM

Somebody broke into my house and stole ever bit of fruit.

I don't know what to say. I'm peachless.

Purpleshoes is now KB's King of Comedy. WOO!  8)

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Offline purpleshoes

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Reply #4269 on: October 06, 2022, 01:15:40 PM
Quote from: watcher1 on October 05, 2022, 03:14:46 PM
Purpleshoes is now KB's King of Comedy. WOO!  8)

Thank you sir. You're very kind.

Here's one with our resident counselor (or barrister as Obi might say) in mind.


Genie: I can grant you one wish.

Lawyer: I wish for 100 more---

Genie: You CAN'T wish for MORE wishes. It's not allowed.

Lawyer:  (frowns)

Genie:  (shrugs)

Lawyer: Can you cite a precedent for---

Genie: Just rephrase your wish. Something that's NOT more wishes.

Lawyer: (smirks)

Genie: (rolls eyes)

Lawyer: I wish for 1000 new GENIES.

Genie: Oh, shit.

New genies:   OH, SHIT.


Online Shiela_M

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Reply #4270 on: October 06, 2022, 04:33:00 PM
My breasts were in the Guinness Book of World Records!

Then the librarian told me to take them out.


Offline Pornhubby

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Reply #4271 on: October 06, 2022, 04:56:24 PM
Quote from: Shiela_M on October 06, 2022, 04:33:00 PM
My breasts were in the Guinness Book of World Records!

Then the librarian told me to take them out.

Woo.  :emot_laughing:

”You can be mad as a mad dog at the way things went.  You can swear and curse the fates.  But when it comes to the end, you have to let go.” — The Curious Case of Benjamin Button


Offline msslave

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Reply #4272 on: October 06, 2022, 05:09:58 PM
Quote from: Shiela_M on October 06, 2022, 04:33:00 PM
My breasts were in the Guinness Book of World Records!

Then the librarian told me to take them out.

It didn't happen if there's not a picture.
 :emot_laughing: :emot_kiss:
WOO

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline watcher1

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Reply #4273 on: October 06, 2022, 05:50:36 PM
I'm not doubting Shiela. ❤  Just wondering what book her other half was in. **Quickly looks under G for growler** ❤❤

Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.

Offline ObiDongKenobi

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Reply #4274 on: October 07, 2022, 01:18:31 PM
Quote from: watcher1 on October 06, 2022, 05:50:36 PM
I'm not doubting Shiela. ❤  Just wondering what book her other half was in. **Quickly looks under G for growler** ❤❤

You might need to look in the cliterature section.


Princess, would you like to see it light up and hum when I wave it about

Offline watcher1

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Reply #4275 on: October 07, 2022, 03:21:12 PM
Quote from: ObiDongKenobi on October 07, 2022, 01:18:31 PM
Quote from: watcher1 on October 06, 2022, 05:50:36 PM
I'm not doubting Shiela. ❤  Just wondering what book her other half was in. **Quickly looks under G for growler** ❤❤

You might need to look in the cliterature section.

;D ;D WOO! 

Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.

Online Shiela_M

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Reply #4276 on: October 07, 2022, 03:58:42 PM
Quote from: watcher1 on October 07, 2022, 03:21:12 PM
Quote from: ObiDongKenobi on October 07, 2022, 01:18:31 PM
Quote from: watcher1 on October 06, 2022, 05:50:36 PM
I'm not doubting Shiela. ❤  Just wondering what book her other half was in. **Quickly looks under G for growler** ❤❤

You might need to look in the cliterature section.

;D ;D WOO! 

Here I was hoping someone would say something about treasure island... oh well...


Offline ObiDongKenobi

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Reply #4277 on: October 09, 2022, 12:34:26 PM

Princess, would you like to see it light up and hum when I wave it about

Online Shiela_M

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Reply #4278 on: October 11, 2022, 02:57:39 PM
A former limbo champion walked into a bar...


Offline purpleshoes

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Reply #4279 on: October 14, 2022, 12:37:27 PM

One of my first jobs was working at an Indian restaurant. I was required to sign a legal document promising I wouldn't tell anyone about how their round flat leavened bread was made. You know, your typical NDA.

Naan Disclosure Agreement.



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