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Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #780 on: January 23, 2013, 11:19:53 AM
Heehee Thanks, Vinney! That joke and Partners reply reminded me of a few lines in a movie... Totally unrelated, but i was reminded of them anyway. ;-)

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline Jem

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Reply #781 on: January 23, 2013, 11:57:12 AM
Economics teacher – “Class, can you give me an example of a complete business failure due to professional negligence?”

Little Johnny – “A pregnant prostitute!”


Offline vinney

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Reply #782 on: January 23, 2013, 01:46:47 PM
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.

The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father..'

The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.'

The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of many.'

The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!'

The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of hundreds', and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear a condom, and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar."

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.

Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #783 on: January 23, 2013, 08:42:14 PM
"Out of the mouth of babes" as the saying goes, lol

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline vinney

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Reply #784 on: January 25, 2013, 05:12:28 PM
One day a mother and son were having a shower together.

son: mummy, whats that? *points to her snatch*

the mother, thinking quickly on her feet says "thats a garage, every girl has one!"

the son asks, "what about boys, what do we have?"

the mother says, "boys have cars, to park in the garage! yours is a little ford, and daddys is a big holden!"

the mother than warned tha father of what she told their son.

that night the son has a nightmare and runs into his parents room. "mummy, mummy i had a bad dream!"

the mother calms him and says he can sleep in their bed until his father gets home from work.

the father gets home from work and walks into the bedroom, he says "its time for me to park my holden in the garage!" not knowing the son was in there.

the son whispers "haha daddy, when mummy fell asleep i parked my ford there first!"

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.

Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #785 on: January 25, 2013, 06:10:38 PM
Let's hope daddy isn't the jealous type... ;-)

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline vinney

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Reply #786 on: January 26, 2013, 12:08:33 AM
An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, "That's no problem. How many do you want?"

The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces."

The doctor said, "That won't do you any good."

The elderly gentleman said, "That's all right. I don't need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes."

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.

Offline vinney

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Reply #787 on: January 26, 2013, 01:06:33 AM
While examining the the body of Mr. Schwartz, a mortician notices that Schwartz has the largest penis he has ever seen.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Schwartz," says the mortician, "But I can't send you to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity."

The mortician removes the penis, places it in a jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he decides to show it to his wife.

"I have something to show you that you won't believe," he says, removing the jar from his
briefcase.

"Oh my God!" she screams,"Schwartz is dead!"

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.

Offline alb6401

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Reply #788 on: January 26, 2013, 03:23:39 PM
Little Betty Lou was also a handful and very wise for her young age. It was Saturday and she was home with mom.
"Mom I'm bored" mom replied sweetly "go color in your books"
" Mom that's even more boring" Mom thinks "well go watch cartoons" she responds.
" Nah, that's no fun" Mom ponders and says " How about your dolls"?
" Oh mom ,wow I do that all the time" Mom is getting impatient by now and snaps" Why don't you go outside and blow bubbles"
  Betty Lou face looked puzzled then shrugs shoulders. " OK, Mom"
 She walks back in after about 30 minutes and mom asks" Well did you have fun blowing bubbles sweetheart"?
 "Well its was OK, but kinda messy mom. But you know our dog Bubbles seemed to  like it a whole bunch." 
.............Mom fainted

Me getting old, Nah, just more refined!

Offline Latina

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Reply #789 on: January 26, 2013, 03:37:45 PM
 :emot_laughing: :emot_rotf: :emot_rotf:

I'm a lady on the street, a Mrs. in the house and whore in the bedroom...

Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #790 on: January 26, 2013, 06:38:25 PM
As long as Bubbles was happy... ;-) heeheehee

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline Latina

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Reply #791 on: January 26, 2013, 07:47:03 PM
Quote from: Geminiguy on January 26, 2013, 06:38:25 PM
As long as Bubbles was happy... ;-) heeheehee


OMG... LMAO  :emot_laughing:

I'm a lady on the street, a Mrs. in the house and whore in the bedroom...

Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #792 on: January 26, 2013, 08:29:53 PM
As long as LaTina is happy, too... ;-)

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline vinney

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Reply #793 on: January 26, 2013, 10:41:11 PM
As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.

He asks if you’re afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it’s the first time his finger has found the right place.

He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he’s gentle like he promised he’d be.

He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he’s done this many times before.

His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance.

You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues.

He looks at you concerned and asks you if it’s too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.

After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.

You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.

Offline vinney

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Reply #794 on: January 26, 2013, 11:13:30 PM
HOLY PROSTITUTES

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye...

It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought.

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive.

On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, 'What may we do for you! my son?'

He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business....'

'Very well my son. Please follow me.' He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man,

'Please knock on this door.'

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door. This nun instructs, 'Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.'

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another

sign:

GO IN PEACE. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS. SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.

Offline Latina

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Reply #795 on: January 27, 2013, 02:16:11 AM
lol... OMFG...  :emot_laughing:

I'm a lady on the street, a Mrs. in the house and whore in the bedroom...

Janus

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Reply #796 on: January 27, 2013, 04:18:55 AM
That was CLASSIC Vinney


Offline licksnkissez

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Reply #797 on: January 27, 2013, 09:34:14 PM

Keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

Offline Partner

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Reply #798 on: January 27, 2013, 09:37:11 PM
Lucky bike...


Offline vinney

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Reply #799 on: January 27, 2013, 11:56:13 PM
Quote from: licksnkissez on January 27, 2013, 09:34:14 PM

Nice one Licks... wobbles on the cobbles.... ;D

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.

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