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Offline msslave

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Reply #3460 on: December 13, 2019, 12:24:27 PM

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline Indian Babe

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Reply #3461 on: December 27, 2019, 07:24:39 PM
An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day. After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar.
The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your d*ck touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar."
Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your d*ck touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."
Another 20 minutes passes, and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips. The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?"
The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your d*ck touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go f*ck yourself, these are my chips."


Offline msslave

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Reply #3462 on: December 27, 2019, 07:47:19 PM
 :D :D :D

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #3463 on: December 29, 2019, 10:48:08 AM
A mother drags her kids out to go caroling on Christmas Eve. The kids end up enjoying it.
They almost pass a house that has a bad reputation.
"Doesn't anyone want to bring Christmas cheer to this creepy old guy?" The son asks.
"All right," His mother agrees. "But if we get killed don't tell your father."

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline msslave

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Reply #3464 on: December 29, 2019, 11:59:47 AM
A wise mother :D

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline watcher1

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Reply #3465 on: December 30, 2019, 08:46:37 PM

Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.

Offline msslave

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Reply #3466 on: December 30, 2019, 08:53:47 PM
(sigh) Thanks Watcher... story of my life :facepalm:

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline AB-2007

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Reply #3467 on: December 31, 2019, 03:22:13 PM

“I can’t believe that you’ve been visiting prostitutes for sex,” my wife screamed at me. “I’m really disappointed.”

“You can hardly blame me,” I answered. “It’s not like I was getting any from you.”

“Well that’s your fault,” she replied. “You never told me you were willing to pay for it.”



_priapism

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Reply #3468 on: January 05, 2020, 03:47:29 AM
My wife and I went to the auction mart at Tralee the other week and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,

'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ......smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week.'

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week ! ...........You could learn a lot from him.'

We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,
'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR

'My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,
'That's once a day ..You could REALLY learn something from this one.'

I looked at her and said,
'Go over and ask him if  every time was with the same old cow.'

My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.


ChirpingGirl

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Reply #3469 on: January 05, 2020, 04:05:47 AM
It’s the police, ma’am. Your son’s been hit by a drunk driver, he’s dead.

There is no punchline. It’s not a joke.


Offline msslave

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Reply #3470 on: January 05, 2020, 02:37:08 PM

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline msslave

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Reply #3471 on: January 08, 2020, 06:10:30 PM

Now I'm starting to understand why it's been so long since I've gotten any action at home. :emot_laughing:

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline vinney

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Reply #3472 on: January 09, 2020, 12:24:40 AM
Quote from: msslave on January 08, 2020, 06:10:30 PM

Now I'm starting to understand why it's been so long since I've gotten any action at home. :emot_laughing:

Mind your knees missus... stand up too quickly and you'll knee cap yourself... ;D

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.

Offline ObiDongKenobi

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Reply #3473 on: January 09, 2020, 12:36:30 PM

Princess, would you like to see it light up and hum when I wave it about

Offline msslave

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Reply #3474 on: January 09, 2020, 01:16:18 PM
Good follow up to my cartoon. 

BTW...I love the saggy ones. :facepalm:

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline msslave

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Reply #3475 on: January 10, 2020, 09:11:07 PM

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

_priapism

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Reply #3476 on: January 11, 2020, 04:45:58 PM


Offline MintJulie

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Reply #3477 on: January 12, 2020, 03:23:37 PM
hahaha   you're a goof.

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Offline watcher1

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Reply #3478 on: January 12, 2020, 06:58:29 PM
« Last Edit: January 12, 2020, 07:14:22 PM by MintJulie »

Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.

Offline watcher1

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Reply #3479 on: January 13, 2020, 04:04:57 PM

Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.

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