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Offline Clitical Thinking

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Reply #4000 on: May 09, 2022, 04:48:58 PM
LMFAO  :emot_laughing:

That actually got me going for a second, then I remembered it was Joke of the Day, not What Ruined My Day  ;D



Offline MintJulie

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Reply #4001 on: May 09, 2022, 07:46:55 PM
"How much for a season pass?"

I love it.


That stupid asshole needs to pay attention to the road.

Um, I don't get the joke.  Yes, he shouldn't be shaving while driving.  Only women can multitask like you were S.

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Offline Hoss

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Reply #4002 on: May 10, 2022, 02:01:46 AM
Murphy, a furniture dealer from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he went to Paris to see what he could find.

 After arriving in Paris , he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine.  As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.

 Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, she asked him something in French (which Murphy could not understand), so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down.

 He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her.

 After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music.

 They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing.

 She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

 Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

 To this day, Murphy has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business

Australian Kissing.....just like the French - but done "Down Under"...


Offline msslave

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Reply #4003 on: May 10, 2022, 02:34:42 AM
 :emot_laughing:

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville


Offline Pornhubby

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Reply #4004 on: May 10, 2022, 02:50:23 AM
You get a woo for that. LMAO.

”You can be mad as a mad dog at the way things went.  You can swear and curse the fates.  But when it comes to the end, you have to let go.” — The Curious Case of Benjamin Button



Offline Pornhubby

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Reply #4005 on: May 10, 2022, 06:42:30 AM
Two muffins are sitting in the oven baking. One turns to the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other muffin replies, "whoa, a talking muffin!"

”You can be mad as a mad dog at the way things went.  You can swear and curse the fates.  But when it comes to the end, you have to let go.” — The Curious Case of Benjamin Button



Offline MintJulie

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Reply #4006 on: May 10, 2022, 02:14:16 PM
Two muffins are sitting in the oven baking. One turns to the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other muffin replies, "whoa, a talking muffin!"

I didn't get it.  But then I got it.  A talking muffin that is shocked by a talking muffin. 
I tell Dan the joke.  He laughed and said he'd heard it before and loves that joke.  Is it a guy thing?  Funny, but not that funny.  I google it.  There is pages of articles about it being brilliant while others think it's not funny at all.
Sorry, I'm not trying to be critical of your joke PH, I do think it's cute after 'getting it'.  I was more surprised there is so many search results with comments about it.

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Offline msslave

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Reply #4007 on: May 10, 2022, 04:00:38 PM
So...this morning my wife said, "I'm pissed!".

My reply, "Again or still?".

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville


Offline Shiela_M

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Reply #4008 on: May 10, 2022, 04:57:16 PM
I love me some dad jokes Woo to both of you.
 :emot_laughing:



Offline Clitical Thinking

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Reply #4009 on: May 10, 2022, 05:22:03 PM
Two muffins are sitting in the oven baking. One turns to the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other muffin replies, "whoa, a talking muffin!"

I didn't get it.  But then I got it.  A talking muffin that is shocked by a talking muffin. 
I tell Dan the joke.  He laughed and said he'd heard it before and loves that joke.  Is it a guy thing?  Funny, but not that funny.  I google it.  There is pages of articles about it being brilliant while others think it's not funny at all.
Sorry, I'm not trying to be critical of your joke PH, I do think it's cute after 'getting it'.  I was more surprised there is so many search results with comments about it.

Some call them Dad jokes and some anti-jokes. In some cases they're even do stupid that that's the whole joke. I guess it's something most people either love or hate  ;D



Offline Pornhubby

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Reply #4010 on: May 10, 2022, 10:01:11 PM

Some call them Dad jokes and some anti-jokes. In some cases they're even do stupid that that's the whole joke. I guess it's something most people either love or hate  ;D


I have a whole book of “dad jokes” and have been bugging my kids with them for years.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? There’s great food, but no atmosphere.

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.

What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.

”You can be mad as a mad dog at the way things went.  You can swear and curse the fates.  But when it comes to the end, you have to let go.” — The Curious Case of Benjamin Button



Offline Clitical Thinking

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Reply #4011 on: May 10, 2022, 10:05:46 PM
 :emot_laughing: :emot_laughing: :emot_laughing:



Offline ObiDongKenobi

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Reply #4012 on: May 10, 2022, 10:33:23 PM

Some call them Dad jokes and some anti-jokes. In some cases they're even do stupid that that's the whole joke. I guess it's something most people either love or hate  ;D


I have a whole book of “dad jokes” and have been bugging my kids with them for years.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? There’s great food, but no atmosphere.

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.

What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.

Same here

Where does a general keep his armies?  Up his sleevies.

I went to the psychiatrist the other day and said I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.  He told me to pull myself together.

I went to the psychiatrist the other day and said I keep thinking I'm either a wigwam or a teepee.  He told me I was just too tense.


Princess, would you like to see it light up and hum when I wave it about


Offline msslave

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Reply #4013 on: May 11, 2022, 12:07:06 AM
So funny Toe and Obi. ROTFLMAO!!! :emot_laughing:

Yeah...Dad here. We know humor.

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Offline MintJulie

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Reply #4014 on: May 11, 2022, 03:52:29 AM

Dan laughed at most of them.  I rolled my eyes at most of them. 

Goof balls!

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Offline Clitical Thinking

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Reply #4015 on: May 11, 2022, 05:14:06 AM
Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn't see that well.

Why do nurses like red crayons? In case they have to draw blood.

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller.

 :emot_laughing:



Offline Shiela_M

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Reply #4016 on: May 11, 2022, 05:23:50 AM
Love it love it love it. Had me some good laughs.  So corny and ridiculous I can't help but laugh at them.




Offline Clitical Thinking

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Reply #4017 on: May 11, 2022, 05:45:51 AM
I used to be addicted to soap but I'm clean now

A school reported a kidnapping but then he woke up

When two vegans get into an argument, are they having beef?

What do you call a pencils with two erasers? Pointless

What do fish smoke to get high? Sea weed






Offline MintJulie

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Reply #4018 on: May 11, 2022, 01:42:43 PM
Okay, you're starting to rub off on me.  I laughed a bit.

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Offline Shiela_M

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Reply #4019 on: May 11, 2022, 01:56:15 PM
I had dinner with my dad last night and was talking to him about dad jokes. He first wanted to tell me about Johnny and the clown again, but I declined, and then he asks if I know what a dad joke not told by a dad is called? Almost in unison we said "a bad joke"
Couldn't stop laughing.