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Offline Asmodel

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Reply #4040 on: May 27, 2022, 05:49:39 PM

The last line! :emot_laughing:



Offline Wildcat666

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Reply #4041 on: May 27, 2022, 06:20:42 PM
Yes children...there was a time when stamps were licked to moisten the glue. Self-adhesive stamps replaced them.

Oh...we had to lick the envelope too.

Thus endeth today's history lesson.


Here is a happy stamp from that era:




Offline Asmodel

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Reply #4042 on: May 31, 2022, 02:09:07 PM
THIS DUDE’S CRAZY! Instead of blaming it on them, he should have improved his skills!  :emot_laughing:



Offline Clitical Thinking

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Reply #4043 on: May 31, 2022, 06:11:02 PM
No shortage of men that think they're infallible in the bedroom, and where if the woman isn't satisfied, she's got a bad attitude, is bad at sex, or has a toy addiction



Online Shiela_M

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Reply #4044 on: May 31, 2022, 06:23:16 PM
I had to check to make sure this guys name was James. 🤣

My futon was better.😘



Offline Asmodel

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Reply #4045 on: May 31, 2022, 06:26:04 PM
I had to check to make sure this guys name was James. 🤣

My futon was better.😘
Who James?

Donald J Trump?
That J means John, as per Siri atleast.
What’s a futon? A blanket or a comforter ?



Online Shiela_M

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Reply #4046 on: May 31, 2022, 07:07:04 PM



Offline Clitical Thinking

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Reply #4047 on: May 31, 2022, 07:17:14 PM
James the Butter Churner



Offline Asmodel

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Reply #4048 on: May 31, 2022, 07:31:04 PM

Who James?

https://www.kristensboard.com/forums/index.php?topic=44669.msg611585;topicseen#msg611585
Sheesh! You’re right! The guy who made that post (in the image) does sound like him!
What’s a futon? A blanket or a comforter ?

It's a sofa that pulls out into a bed. It's what I'm grinding on here. Ah, A two-in-one sofa-cum-bed, gotcha.


https://imgur.com/a/cZUxCDI

Go ahead, click the link. We know you want to CT?!?
Anyways…
*clicks the link*
Omg…
You got me good Miss Shiela!
My own Rick-roll video!




Online Shiela_M

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Reply #4049 on: May 31, 2022, 09:53:14 PM
What's the difference between medium and rare?

5 inches is medium, 8 is rare.



Offline Asmodel

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Reply #4050 on: May 31, 2022, 10:10:47 PM
What's the difference between medium and rare?

5 inches is medium, 8 is rare.
:emot_laughing: :emot_laughing:
A man is getting into the shower
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything under the table that you liked?" Jeff admitted, "Well, yes I did." She said "you can have it, but it will cost you $100." After a minute or two, Jeff indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Dave works Friday afternoons and Jeff doesn't, that Jeff should come to their house around 2:00 PM on Friday.

Friday came and Jeff went to her house at 2:00 PM. After paying her the $100, they went to the bedroom, had sex for a few hours and then Jeff left.

Dave came home about 6:00 PM and asked his wife, "Did Jeff come by this afternoon?" Totally shocked, Sandy replied, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes." Next Dave asked, "Did Jeff give you $100?"

Sandy thought, 'Oh hell, he knows!' reluctantly she said, "Yes, he did give me $100."

"Good," Dave says. "Jeff came by the office this morning and borrowed the $100 from me and said that he'd stop by our house on his way home and pay me back. It's so good to have a friend you can trust."
« Last Edit: May 31, 2022, 10:16:46 PM by Asmodel »



Offline Clitical Thinking

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Reply #4051 on: May 31, 2022, 10:20:23 PM
What's the difference between medium and rare?

5 inches is medium, 8 is rare.

...but would 10 be "well done"?  :emot_laughing:



Offline purpleshoes

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Reply #4052 on: June 01, 2022, 12:51:11 PM

Genie: I shall grant you 3 wishes.

Me: I wish for a world without lawyers.

Genie: Done. You now have no more wishes.

Me: But you said I had three and that was only one.

Genie:  So sue me.



Offline Asmodel

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Reply #4053 on: June 01, 2022, 01:00:15 PM

Genie: I shall grant you 3 wishes.

Me: I wish for a world without lawyers.

Genie: Done. You now have no more wishes.

Me: But you said I had three and that was only one.

Genie:  So sue me.
I’d be content with that.



Offline Asmodel

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Reply #4054 on: June 03, 2022, 04:06:45 PM



Online Shiela_M

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Reply #4055 on: June 04, 2022, 02:28:22 PM
I heard a rumor that our resident lawyer appropriately named his dick Truth.  Because not everybody can handle Truth, and sometimes Truth hurts.



Offline Asmodel

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Reply #4056 on: June 04, 2022, 04:30:40 PM
I heard a rumor that our resident lawyer appropriately named his dick Truth.  Because not everybody can handle Truth, and sometimes Truth hurts.
Truth is bitter (and also stings like a hornet), STRICTLY NOT speaking from experience!



Offline Pornhubby

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Reply #4057 on: June 04, 2022, 04:37:02 PM
I heard a rumor that our resident lawyer appropriately named his dick Truth.  Because not everybody can handle Truth, and sometimes Truth hurts.

I’m like Gay Pride Month.  A real pain in the ass sometimes.  :emot_laughing:

”You can be mad as a mad dog at the way things went.  You can swear and curse the fates.  But when it comes to the end, you have to let go.” — The Curious Case of Benjamin Button



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Reply #4058 on: June 04, 2022, 04:38:40 PM
Truth is bitter

I wouldn't say bitter, more of a salty tang 😘



Offline Asmodel

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Reply #4059 on: June 04, 2022, 05:11:04 PM
Truth is bitter

I wouldn't say bitter, more of a salty tang 😘
Then most likely saltier than the Dead Sea.