Four men are in line at the Pearly Gates. The first man is called forward:
Saint Peter asks: Son, how did you die?
Man 1: I was dating a woman, whose husband was coming up the stairs to their apartment, so I jumped out of the fourth floor window.
Peter: Son, did you know she was married?
Man 1: Honestly, no.
Peter, flipping through the Book: No lie there, you may enter.
The man enters Heaven.
Saint Peter calls the second man forward.
Peter: How did you die?
Man 2: Well I heard my girlfriend talking to a man, and so I hid in the fridge. I could not breath and died.
Peter: Did you know she was involved with anyone or married?
Man 2: I swear, I did not know she was married or had a boyfriend.
Peter, consulting the Book: All true, you may enter.
The second man enters Heaven.
Saint Peter calls forth the third man.
Peter: How did you die?
Third man: Well I was walking along the side walk in front of my girlfriends building, when a man falls and hits the ground beside me. I thanked god that I was not killed, and then I get flatten by a fridge.
Peter, astonished consults the book again: Son, would this girlfriend be a beautiful blonde woman?
Third man: Yes sir, she said we were going on a trip together.
Peter, completely flabbergasted by this situation: Son, did you know if she was seeing anyone else or possibly could be married?
Third man: No, she told me I was her one and only.
The book confirms the truth.
Peter: Son, I can send you back, or let you go into heaven. It seems it was not your time to go.
The third man looks behind him at the angry hulking bruiser of a man.
Third man: I would like to go back please.
Peter makes a phone call, and seconds later the third man vanishes in a puff of smoke.
Peter sees the angry giant of a man, and calls for two angels to act as bodyguards.
Peter: Fourth man please come forward.
The fourth man come up, each steps shakes the clouds under him.
Peter: How did you die sir?
The fourth man: I got off work early, so I decided to come straight home after swearing off drinking and fighting. I wanted to tell my wife that not only did I get promoted and a big raise, but I also won the lottery. So I come home to find a bunch of strange men's clothes. I got mad. Trying to calm my self down, I walked to my fridge, and reached in to grab a beer, and the fridge whined when I opened the door. Inside I seen a man, who was naked and blue all over. So I picked up the fridge, and in my rage, I must of killed my wife, and tossed the fridge out the window.
Saint Peter makes a phone call and Lucifer answers from his desk.
Peter: Hey Lucifer, is there a pretty blonde in line in hell?
Lucifer: Yeah, she's waiting to get in, and boy does she belong here, she is just fucking everyone in line, left and right.
Peter, now realizing the fourth man heard every word: I think you might want to run...
Lucifer: Why...? and the line goes dead.
The fourth man is nowhere to be found. Saint Peter grabs a broom and sweeps the walkway of clouds...
And if that did not make you laugh, here is one that is a little off base...
Four ducks enter the bar.
They take a seat on their stools, the bartender notices that they look exhausted and takes their order:
First duck: My name is Huey
Bartender: So was it a rough day, and what are you drinking?
First duck: I want a Cosmopolitan, It was a good day, I was in and out of puddles the whole day!
Bartender fixes the drink, and approaches the second duck
Bartender: Man you look worn out, what are you having?
Second duck: My name is Luey, and I want a Gin and Tonic. But yeah man I was in and out of puddles all day too.
The bartender makes the drink and approaches the third duck.
Bartender: Let me guess, your name is Dewey, so what are you drinking?
Third duck: Yeah, and I will have a White Russian. Man it was a hard day, of going in and out of puddles, I am so worn out.
The Bartender fixes his drink, and then approaches the fourth duck.
Bartender: So, what's your name, and what will it be?
The fourth duck batting her eyelashes: My name is Puddles. I will have a wine spritzer.