I'm at my wits end and really don't want to get to the point of asking this on a public forum. Most of you know me as someone with a bit of a dry (and occasionally realistically cold) sense of humor. This isn't that kind of message.
I have a very close friend with the occasional benefits. For what it's worth, I'm 44, she's 40 and we have been best friends for 4 years now with on again/off again forays into sex. She is literally the best friend, partner in crime, weekly camping buddy, etc. yet there is no real romance between us. Dating would feel too much like being with a sister and I'm not into incest.
That being said the last two to three years our sexual events have tapered off significantly and not from a lack of desire, especially on her part. She'd be at it every night trying something new if she could. The problem? For some reason around 3 years ago when she got sexually excited the normal odors that girls have came on...only strong. Really strong. As in distractingly strong! For record, she is very good at the hygiene game, gets regular check-ups (latest was about a month ago), no infections, etc. This is simply a biological change in the degree at which her getting excited has gone from an odor to a veritable stench.
It has literally killed my desire to even tease or play with her. If it wasn't for the smell, frankly, she is about as open minded and fun as you could ever hope for a partner. Experimental on any level, fantasies, role playing, etc. She should be the absolute ideal and it's literally easy to keep her between 7-9 orgasms just during foreplay. In that way it kind of makes a guy feel like he's God in bed (never can get that 10th..dang it).
Putting it that way the desire to play around should certainly be there but knowing that the moment she starts to get turned on it will come with it the odor fit to clear a room. It wasn't bad at first, but then got to a point where she'd near her first orgasm or two and it would literally drive my mood into the ground. Ever gone soft in someone mid-lay because you are debating if she'd get miffed at spraying Fabreeze around your blankets? I thought it was a short thing, even asked about some mild hygiene things and it went away for a short time (don't think she actually did anything). Then last year it came back. Back strong enough that it can literally drive me out of the bedroom and as she is already hyper sensitive about some other personal things (being 40, single, and going through the 'I'm going to die alone' stage) there is no way in hell I can think of to broach this subject with her. She should be the most fun person on the planet and yet I can't even keep it up much less even come close to an orgasm (haven't climaxed with her in 2+ years but the foreplay was a lot of fun until the odor got so far out of hand) and prior to this I have never had any sexual problems at all. None. That 'if you stay erect for 4 hours' thing doesn't need viagra, just a vivid imagination. That isn't lame bragging, it's a curse actually.
How the hell can I find some way to fix this without risking absolute destruction of my friendship with her? Keeping in mind I have been with more ladies than I care to admit but I have never, EVER encountered anything like this before. The worst halitosis you have ever run across is sweet as candy compared to this.
Idea's and thoughts are welcome.