KRISTEN'S BOARD
KB - a better class of pervert

News:

What is the craziest place you've jacked off?

Meatbot · 4357

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Meatbot

  • Total freak
  • *****
    • Posts: 588
    • Woos/Boos: +114/-1
    • Gender: Male
  • Just a bored old fart who writes shit.
    • ASSTR site
on: March 18, 2015, 01:48:04 PM

Sorry if this thread has already been started. I couldn't find it, but you are welcome to add this post on the end if you know where it is.

Where is the most insane, dangerous, crazy or simply memorable place you've whacked it? Mine are probably pretty tame compared to some of you, but here it goes.

Let's see...

BTW, do not try this at home, kids, unless you are a trained professional. Like me.

7th grade, Jr. high bathroom. Exciting but smelly & scarey & end of world if caught. Back yard, behind the garage. Also exciting, though the dog looked at me a bit strangely. Jr. High auditorium, minutes before an assembly, wrapped in a curtain on the stage. In bed with my big sister at the lake, whispering and giggling, she never knew I came into a sock in the middle of it all. In the woods at church camp, maybe a hundred feet away from a crowd of kids. In the lake up to my neck also at church camp, in plain view of hundreds. (Cumming underwater is difficult for some reason, only the strength and immediacy of youth made it possible). In the doghouse with my little sister (it was a big dog), just to show her what guys could do. (She still reminds me of that one). Laying face-down in the sun at the lake with my sleeping aunt, staring at the side of her breast and her nipple, inadvertantly exposed to me. In my cousin's face at another lake, when she wanted to see "how you did it," unquote. In my own face once, when I got a little too acrobatic. At a neighbor's house in the kitchen (I could see everyone else in the back yard through a window, it was fairly safe but still stimulating).

In the cab of a tractor, both plowing up and turning under. In the top of the barn, holding many a stolen pair of my older sister's panties to my nose. With my cousin in his bedroom, looking at "Hustler" and "Oui" magazines we'd lifted from 7-11. With him and his little sister in a grainery out at the farm (I thought I was gonna get to fuck her, but all I got to do was whack off on her backside). On a blanket in the back of my '69 Ranchero, while a girl named Lisa let me play with her fabulous tits.

In the restrooms at a Yes concert. Also, BOC, ELP, Supertramp and I think possibly Hawkwind, but I was a bit toasted; don't remember. In the bathroom at the Valley of the Dolls in OKC years ago, after a girl named Didi gave me the world's best lap dance.

In the bathroom at work too many times to count. At my desk and in my bosses chair one night when I was there alone (after the cleaning ladies left). In my back yard at night (chain link fence; no moon). Driving down the interstate, both night and day. In the back yard of a house I hoped to buy, waiting on the real estate lady to arrive. Off the lip of the north wall of a canyon in New Mexico. In the bathroom at Disneyland. On the roof of a hotel in Compton, LA. In a planetarium at a laser light show, underneath my jacket. In the woods at a park near my home, while high school girls played tennis a few dozen feet away. In a dressing room at Walley-world.

I'm sure there's more, but I'm an old fart now, and I've forgotten more shit than I remember. Keep spankin' it.

'bot

------------------ My stories ------------------
http://www.kristensboard.com/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=26255


Offline redhatlover

  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 2,833
    • Woos/Boos: +255/-3
    • Gender: Male
Reply #1 on: March 18, 2015, 03:38:44 PM
Twice on a Greyhound bus on a trip between Indianapolis & Savannah.  There was a hot older lady across the aisle who spent most of her time sleeping.

I am like Charlie the Tuna.  I don't want women with good taste, I want women who taste good.


Offline handsomepeter

  • Degenerate
  • ***
    • Posts: 124
    • Woos/Boos: +5/-0
Reply #2 on: March 18, 2015, 03:45:15 PM
My craziest place was in the bathroom of my bedroom that was separated from the house.  My Dad, brother and I built the bedroom using patio walls as part of the structure.  We had beds, obviously, television and in the bathroom had a toilet.  We were supposed to have a shower too, but the jagged brick wall we had built wasn't exactly right for a shower.  Once my brother and I discovered jacking off we would at various times jack off onto that 'shower' wall in the same spot ALWAYS.  There were probably two or three hundred cum shots onto that wall.  We grew up and moved away but my parents continued to live there until they decided to sell it to a family friend. The friend discovered the unorthodox wall covering and called me parents to come look at it.  I don't know how Dad reacted, but   I got a call from my Mother one day totally upset about the nasty things we had done to the wall.  I think the semen made a kind of pearl finish to that section of the wall.  I told her, "Hey Mom, you raised boys.  What did you expect?"



joe_and_michelle

  • Guest
Reply #3 on: March 18, 2015, 07:20:05 PM
My favorite, and totally dirty, place to jack off was into my mother or sister in-laws' panties.  I'd leave a nice load in the crotch, then fold and replace them carefully, in their dressers.  I'd spend the rest of the holidays, wondering if my dried cum was caressing their coochies.




joe_and_michelle

  • Guest
Reply #4 on: March 19, 2015, 04:12:13 PM
My favorite, and totally dirty, place to jack off was into my mother or sister in-laws' panties.  I'd leave a nice load in the crotch, then fold and replace them carefully, in their dressers.  I'd spend the rest of the holidays, wondering if my dried cum was caressing their coochies.


Don't judge me, until you've walked a mile in my shoes... LOL.   :emot_laughing:

If a mod would please delete my previous post.   Now, back on topic...

OH GEEZUS, I'd splewy all over the inside of their panties without their knowledge, also.    My apologies!  I didn't realize the subjects of your wanking were so g.d. beautiful.



Offline handsomepeter

  • Degenerate
  • ***
    • Posts: 124
    • Woos/Boos: +5/-0
Reply #5 on: March 20, 2015, 04:08:43 PM
When ever I shot off into a pair of panties it was pretty obvious.  Maybe women just put them on in the dark...or see it and like the idea.  Maybe slide a finger against the silk that touches the slit and get off on what is there. 



joe_and_michelle

  • Guest
Reply #6 on: March 20, 2015, 05:43:22 PM
Where is the most insane, dangerous, crazy or simply memorable place you've whacked it?
Nothing to insane, dangerous or crazy.     Here are a few memorable ones...

I was 24.   A 22 year old girlfriend asked me to masturbate in front of her, her sister and cousin.   The cousin was 20, in town from Ohio.   The sister was 18.   I knew immediately it was wrong because of the 18 year old.    In return, my girlfriend said she would be my sexslave for a full weekend.  That ended any further worry about the 18 year old sis.

They came over to my apartment and I stripped down for them.   I sat next to my girlfriend and she got me hard.   She told me to take over.   I hadn't stroked it for more than a minute when the little sister got up and ran from the apartment.   It was the first time she had seen a guy naked, let alone jacking off, and she panicked.   That was pretty much it.   The masturbation session was halted, I didn't finish.  Also didn't get my slave for the weekend.

Also, very memorable, is all the times I masturbated for my older cousin, who was my babysitter during the summer.   She coerced me into doing it when I was 18 years old.   It was my first orgasm.   I continued doing it in front of her every day for the remainder of the summer and numerous times thereafter.

A few summers later, my mom had quit her job.   She began to care for a neighbor girl of ours while her mother worked.   I was 20 years old, she was a year younger than I was.   I was on my bed fully naked slowly jacking off.    My mom was in the basement doing laundry.   The girl was in the family room and yelled out asking where I was.    I responded, "In my room, come here a minute."     She came down the hall, and opened the door to my room.   I gave her a great look at my erection and balls for a moment pretending I didn't notice her.   Then I looked up at her and, acting all embarrassed, yelled, "Oh my god, what are you doing in here, get out."   She said, "You told me to come here."     I said, "No, I said I was in my room and would be out in a minute."   She no sooner shut the door and I shot off.    


Edited for underaged content.
« Last Edit: March 20, 2015, 07:08:08 PM by toeinh2o »



Offline Jbird4

  • Degenerate
  • ***
    • Posts: 141
    • Woos/Boos: +42/-0
    • Gender: Male
Reply #7 on: November 28, 2016, 09:32:03 PM
I have always been a jack off lover.   So I was always finding places to have my fun.  Just a few:

In my best friends garage. 

In the wooded area across the street from my mom's house.  This was within sight of a highway.  I jacked off there so many times it wasn't funny. 

In a library study "room" more times than I can count when I was in college. 

I have jacked off in probably every job I ever had. 

Many many public restrooms that include rest stops and parks. 

I would say I am a chronic masturbator.



Offline Freemont

  • Pervert
  • **
    • Posts: 98
    • Woos/Boos: +12/-0
    • Gender: Male
Reply #8 on: November 29, 2016, 10:10:54 PM
Not too many crazy places for me.

One of my worst was when I was at a mate's house and there were loads of us so I was asked if I would mind sleeping in his older sister's room as she was out for the night. She was 23 and hot as hell so no complaints from me. I slept in her bed which smelled softly of her and was so horny I hand to jerk off. AS I got close to cumming I had to find somewhere to shoot my load. Grabbed something of the floor, wrapped it round the tip and exploded into it when I realised it was her panties. Forgot all about it the next day ofc until his sister drove me home. She asked me why I had done it and I told her she was just so hot and smelled sooo good I couldn't help myself. Apologised while as red as a beetroot. She laughed and told me it was ok. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and when she dropped me off she gave me treat. She pushed another pair of her panties, really sexy ones into my pocket, and whispered "I am wearing the ones you used last night... " before driving off and leaving me open mouthed and hard as a rock outside my house.

Only other really bad place was in the confessional booth of our school chapel. Not during a service ofc :)




KitKat

  • Guest
Reply #9 on: November 29, 2016, 10:26:33 PM
It must be nice to just be able to whip it out an jerk it right quick before anyone sees you. I guess if anyone was getting closer you could just stuff it back in your pants. Can you imagine if a female was trying to masterbate in a public place? Just doesn't seem do-able, but I'm sure it's been done.

Well anyway, happy jerking. ;)



KitKat

  • Guest
Reply #10 on: November 30, 2016, 12:04:23 AM
A bathroom doesn't really count as a "crazy" place. Can you imagine a female trying to get off at the library, on a bus, or in the woods behind their house?
 :emot_laughing:



Offline Well Behaved Lady

  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 3,502
    • Woos/Boos: +535/-8
    • Gender: Female
Reply #11 on: November 30, 2016, 12:15:50 AM
A bathroom doesn't really count as a "crazy" place. Can you imagine a female trying to get off at the library, on a bus, or in the woods behind their house?
 :emot_laughing:

On a bus, yes. http://www.kristensboard.com/forums/index.php?topic=27315.0



Offline MissBarbara

  • Burnt at the stake
  • *******
    • Posts: 16,012
    • Woos/Boos: +3070/-41
    • Gender: Female
Reply #12 on: November 30, 2016, 12:56:57 AM

A bathroom doesn't really count as a "crazy" place. Can you imagine a female trying to get off at the library, on a bus, or in the woods behind their house?


I can completely imagine that.

In fact, I have, on more than one occasion...





"Sometimes the best things in life are a hot girl and a cold beer."



Offline Katiebee

  • Shield Maiden POY 2018
  • Burnt at the stake
  • *******
    • Posts: 12,199
    • Woos/Boos: +946/-14
    • Gender: Female
  • Achieving world domination, one body at a time.
Reply #13 on: November 30, 2016, 03:40:11 AM
Welcome to the pervs corner KitKat. We are not the usual suspects. We have a vast and varied body of experience.

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.


Offline MintJulie

  • ~. Version Number 9.15.0 ~
  • Super Freak
  • Burnt at the stake
  • ******
    • Posts: 10,516
    • Woos/Boos: +1749/-22
    • Gender: Female
  • Madame Sheriff
Reply #14 on: November 30, 2016, 03:43:30 AM

A bathroom doesn't really count as a "crazy" place. Can you imagine a female trying to get off at the library, on a bus, or in the woods behind their house?


I can completely imagine that.

In fact, I have, on more than one occasion...



Barb, she said "can you imagine"....and then mentioned 3 things.  Then you commented you have on more than one occasion.

Clarify please........that you imagined doing all of those things, or that you actually have gotten off in one (or all) of those scenarios.    And if so, which have you actually done.  (if you care to share)

.
          You might not know this, but I have a thing for Tom Brady (and Bill Clinton)
Version 9.15
POY 2016


Offline Katiebee

  • Shield Maiden POY 2018
  • Burnt at the stake
  • *******
    • Posts: 12,199
    • Woos/Boos: +946/-14
    • Gender: Female
  • Achieving world domination, one body at a time.
Reply #15 on: November 30, 2016, 03:46:40 AM
MissB may take a while before answering, so I will. Yes I have imagined doing all three.

Yes I have done all three.

And let me add another, I have masturbated at work, at my desk, during core hours.

More than once.

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.


Offline MintJulie

  • ~. Version Number 9.15.0 ~
  • Super Freak
  • Burnt at the stake
  • ******
    • Posts: 10,516
    • Woos/Boos: +1749/-22
    • Gender: Female
  • Madame Sheriff
Reply #16 on: November 30, 2016, 03:52:18 AM
Library, no.   Bus, no.   Woods behind my house, no.

Work, yes.     

Back row of a movie theatre, yes.   The place was empty though.   I was worried the guy running the projector might peek out his tiny window and look down on me.

Train, yes.


.
          You might not know this, but I have a thing for Tom Brady (and Bill Clinton)
Version 9.15
POY 2016


KitKat

  • Guest
Reply #17 on: November 30, 2016, 04:12:20 AM
Wow I'm impressed. I haven't had the guts, or been horny enough to even try anything like that.



Offline MissBarbara

  • Burnt at the stake
  • *******
    • Posts: 16,012
    • Woos/Boos: +3070/-41
    • Gender: Female
Reply #18 on: November 30, 2016, 03:20:20 PM

A bathroom doesn't really count as a "crazy" place. Can you imagine a female trying to get off at the library, on a bus, or in the woods behind their house?


I can completely imagine that.

In fact, I have, on more than one occasion...



Barb, she said "can you imagine"....and then mentioned 3 things.  Then you commented you have on more than one occasion.

Clarify please........that you imagined doing all of those things, or that you actually have gotten off in one (or all) of those scenarios.    And if so, which have you actually done.  (if you care to share)


I have "imagined" that on more than one occasion.

Having the chance to watch a woman -- a real woman, in real life -- pleasure herself to an orgasm, without her knowing I (or anyone else) was watching, is one of my deepest fantasies.

The "I Feel Myself" videos come very close to fulfilling this fantasy...








"Sometimes the best things in life are a hot girl and a cold beer."



Offline MintJulie

  • ~. Version Number 9.15.0 ~
  • Super Freak
  • Burnt at the stake
  • ******
    • Posts: 10,516
    • Woos/Boos: +1749/-22
    • Gender: Female
  • Madame Sheriff
Reply #19 on: November 30, 2016, 04:57:15 PM

Having the chance to watch a woman -- a real woman, in real life -- pleasure herself to an orgasm, without her knowing I (or anyone else) was watching, is one of my deepest fantasies.

Never really thought about this.   But, I think I would be a beautiful thing to see.


I haven't had the guts, or been horny enough to even try anything like that.

Train was easiest.   Did it a few times.   There is enough shaking and rattling of the car that subtle movement go undetected should I had been seen.   The few times I did it, I had my 3/4 length jacket covering me as though it was a blanket.     It was always a weeknight when there were less commuters with nobody in nearby seats.

.
          You might not know this, but I have a thing for Tom Brady (and Bill Clinton)
Version 9.15
POY 2016