Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Pages: [1]   Go Down
Author Topic: BABYSITTER’S MISTAKE (original, M+/f, underage, 1st)  (Read 85678 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Fame 14
Offline Offline

Posts: 98

« on: June 18, 2009, 04:17:19 PM »

'This is a work of fiction. The author does not condone any sexual activity among persons under 16 in real life.'

AUTHOR'S NOTE: If anyone knows how to submit stories to the Kristen Archives please let me know....




(original, M+/f, underage, 1st)

Angela and Tom Henderson had lived next door to 13 year old Annie Hopkins for the 5 years they had been married.  That had been when Angie was 18 and Tom was 19.  Both of them were weekend warriors and had spent time away at training camp and even a year apiece overseas.  Angie and Annie had become close friends and spent a lot of time together.  People often mistook them for sisters because both had long blond hair and blue eyes, Angie’s petiteness and build was much more similar to Annie’s since Annie had undergone a growth spurt that started when she was ten.  Now they both had lovely shaped C cups and had even begun to share clothes back and forth.  

Six months ago Angie and Tom had given birth to a beautiful baby girl that they had named in Annie’s honor and Annie took a great deal of pride in this.  She spent almost as much time the next door as she did at home.  So it was only natural that her parents said it was okay to babysit her namesake even though she was only 13 as long as she understood she wouldn’t be able to babysit for anyone else until she was 15.

No one knew what the unintended consequences of this decision would be.

A week before her 14th birthday Angie told Annie that her unit was holding some special training over the weekend and Tom’s best friend was having a party on Saturday night because he was soon getting married.  Since Tom would probably be drinking he would most likely spend the night at his friend’s so he asked Annie’s mom if she could sleep over in the spare room that night.

Annie’s mom agreed and gave Annie a stern lecture on being responsible and not taking advantage of the situation by causing problems for her friend.  Watch TV, eat whatever they gave her permission to eat and nothing else and make sure Little Annie, as everyone referred to the baby, was her top priority.  Above all she was to listen to and obey Tom.  Annie agreed.

On Friday afternoon, Annie was next door as Tom loaded his wife’s suitcase into the trunk and buckled Little Annie into her car seat as he got ready to drive his wife to the town armory where her unit would soon be leaving for the weekend.

“It would sure be nice to get a transfer into your unit,” Tom said to Angie as she emerged from the house in her cammos and headed for the car.

“I know,” she agreed, “but it is better right now so that one of us is home with Little Annie.”

She paused next to Annie and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you for helping us out this weekend. And thank your mom again, too.  Tom will fill you in on what to do for her now that we are weaning her from breastfeeding.  You know where the DVD’s are so watch whatever you want.  I’ll see you on Monday since we won’t be back until after midnight on Sunday.”

“Don’t worry, Angie, I can handle it.  I’m almost grown up now.”

“Don’t rush it, Annie, you have the rest of your life to be a grownup.  Enjoy being a kid while you can!”

With that Angie got in the car, buckled herself in and waved back at Annie as they drove off.

It was hot on Saturday so Annie showed up at her neighbor’s front door at 2 PM in a tasteful halter top that accentuated her newly emerged breasts without flaunting them and short shorts that teen girls like to wear to test their emerging sexual powers over members of the opposite sex.  She seemed to have scored a hit with Tom when his eyes bugged out as he opened the door.

“Wow!  You’ve been growing!”

She laughed with him, “It’s about time somebody noticed.”

“Oh, they will notice!  Believe me!”

As he stepped back Annie wondered if he or Angie had any idea how often her imaginary lover she conjured up in her head as she experimented with playing with herself looked just like Tom.  He was tall and well built with a thick head of brown hair and nicely chiseled features with an easy smile. His voice gave Annie goosebumps when she overheard Tom and Annie bantering when they thought no one was listening.

“What’s in the backpack?”

“I brought my nightie and swimsuit so Little Annie and I can work on our tans in the back yard.”

“Just make sure she has plenty of shade.  I don’t want to come home to a lobster red baby!”

“I will.  I should only be out for an hour—half an hour on each side.”

Tom took her back to the spare room and waited while she tossed her backpack on the bed.  Then he led her to the kitchen and showed her where the food and snacks were and where to find the pop—all things she was familiar with from her frequent visits but which she listened to politely just to hear him speak.

“Like Angie said yesterday we have just started weaning Little Annie off of breastfeeding.”

He opened the freezer and showed Annie several small bottles filled with what looked like cream.

“Angie got these ready before leaving.  They are filled with her milk which she pumped this week.”

“You mean she milked herself?  Like a cow?”

Tom laughed.  “No like a person.  I didn’t put her on all fours with a bucket under her and squeeze her tits—“ he suddenly blushed, “I mean, breasts.  No, she used this.”

He reached above the fridge and took down a thing that looked like a weird bike horn.  One end had an opening like a horn but the bottom had a round opening with an empty jar like those in the freezer screwed into it.  On the end was a bulb like the one you squeeze on a bicycle horn.

“She puts this over her nipple,” he said point to the horn opening, “and then she squeezes this and it  provides suction to draw out the milk which is then collected in the jar.  In another week we will start to add formula to the milk and eventually get her off breast milk completely.”

He then gave her strict instructions on how to warm the milk in microwave using low power and testing it before feeding Little Annie.  Annie wrote down all the instructions and then did it with him there.  Little Annie was in her car seat/carrier and watched the whole thing.  But she was impatient and began to cry before her bottle was ready.

“That reminds me,” Tom said as he pulled open a drawer filled with silverware. At the back was a large zip lock bag that contained four matching pacifiers.  “Every once in a while she loses one or gets in dirty so just give her one of these and put the dirty one in the dishwasher.”

After a quick quiz to make sure she understood everything he pointed to a paper held on the fridge by a banana shaped magnet.  On it were emergency numbers for Angie at camp and Tom’s cell phone.

Before going out the door he went over by the TV and showed her how to use the DVD player and opened the door on the entertainment center where the DVDs were stored. He then opened the door above where the movies were and a number of bottles of various kinds of liquor came into view.

“Now we don’t have a lock for this door but I know just how full these bottles are so remember you have access to the bottom door not the top.”

She knew that he knew she was too young to drink and laughed with him at his absurd instructions.

“I’ll be home as soon as possible in the morning. Thank you again for doing this.”

“No problem. We’ll be fine,” she said taking Little Annie from her carrier and following him out the door.  Tom’s friend had agreed to pick him up and was waiting at the curb.  He looked like a blond version of Tom and gave her a friendly wave.  As they drove off she returned the wave and then held Little Annie’s hand in an additional wave.

With the car out of sight, Annie went back in and put the baby in her stroller.  Then she took her down the hall to the guestroom and got ready to sunbathe.  She untied her halter and slipped it off and in one swift move slid her shorts and thong panties off as well.  This room had one thing she didn’t have at home—a full length mirror.  She paused for a minute to admire how womanly she was becoming. Her breast had the resilience of youth and her perky pink nipples with their inch and a half wide aureoles were very responsive and she liked the way they puffed out when she became aroused.  

One time, when she and Angie were alone and Annie’s breasts had just started to grow, Angie had told her that people would call that feature “puffies”. She had then shown Annie how her nipple puffed out as well.  

Annie pulled out the suit her mother didn’t know Annie owned and tied it on.  Tying it on was the only way to put it on.  The top was bearly enough material to cover her nipples and had strings holding them in place which she tied behind her neck.  The bottoms were basically enough material to cover her privates and her butthole and tied on each hip.  There wasn’t even enough to cover all her lovely blond bush that was filling in nicely.  She didn’t care because having it showing even though no one could see into the neighbor’s back yard because of the privacy fence made her feel sexy.  She took her beach towel and lotion and rolled the stroller out the patio door.  She parked Little Annie in the shade with her pacifier in place and spread the blanket on the ground.  She spent the first half hour on her back as the sun worked its magic on her front and then turned over for another 30 minutes.

When she was done, she went back in and decided since no one else was there she would get dressed for bed and watch a couple of movies.

She put the “naughty” swimsuit away and then put her thong underwear back on.  Then she pulled on the “naughty” nightie her mother didn’t know about.  It only went down to the bottom of her bottom and was almost sheer enough to see through.
She wheeled Little Annie out to the kitchen and popped some microwave popcorn.

Transferring the baby to her playpen in the living room Annie got ready to sit on the floor next to her.  Without thinking she opened the top door of the entertainment center and was confronted with bottles of brandy, whiskey, gin, vodka, scotch and others whose labels she couldn’t read.  Her curiosity got the better of her for a few minutes and she just read the labels without touching them.  Just as she was about to close the cabinet door she spotted a stack of DVD boxes with no label in the back.

She couldn’t drink but they had said she could watch movies.  She took the top two cases out and looked for something to identify the contents.  There was nothing on the outside and the discs inside were simply labeled with dates.  The first one was July 4th and the second one she recognized as Angie’s birthday.

She thought it would be fun to watch Angie’s birthday because she had been at the big party for half an hour before she had to go home.

At first it seemed like a normal home movie as Tom moved among their guests including Annie and her folks.  It was from 2 years ago and Annie thought she looked awfully boyish with her flat chest and nearly straight waist.  She had only just begun to fill out.  

After ten minutes most of the neighbors had left including Annie’s family and only 5 couples remained.  They spent the next 20 minutes of the video playing various games but the one that had Annie riveted was strip poker.  Gradually all of the couples were getting naked.  They were a varied lot.  One couple was as old as Annie’s grandparents while two couples were her parents age and the last one was slightly younger than Angie and Tom’s age.  

When they were all naked Tom passed out a paper a pen to everyone and they wrote down their names and put them into a hat.  Two hats actually, one for men and one for women.  The men’s hat was passed around the ladies and each took out a name while the men stood off to the side.  When the women read the name they went to the person and kissed them.  

The young woman had drawn the oldest man while Tom had been drawn by the old
man’s wife. Angie got one of the middle aged fellows as the other middle aged couple seemed to have wound up together and the wife of Angie’s partner went over to the young man.  The camera seemed to be mounted in a corner of the room and Annie watched as couples moved over to various stuffed chairs and love seats while the couch was opened up into a bed that two couples laid down on.  For the duration of the first hour Annie watched in stunned amazement as her two friends and all their other friends engaged in practically every sexual practice imaginable.  

There was oral sex and anal sex and vaginal sex and twosomes and threesomes and at one point Angie was the focus of a foursome while Ton walked around her with the camera catching close ups of hard cocks in his wife’s butt, pussy and mouth that did not belong to him.  Not a condom was seen nor did the men pull out for show although on two occasions the women pulled back from the cocks they were sucking on and had their faces pelted with ropes of cum.

Annie and her friends had talked about sex at school but no one she knew had done it or seen a real cock aside from little brother’s or family members by accident.  She realized that her friends were swingers.

Without realizing it Annie had begun to play with herself and now she had her first orgasm as she thrust her fingers in herself while watching Tom’s cock at work.  Now she would have the memory of a real cock for her fantasies.

After all the guys Annie was working with had cum in her, everyone sang happy birthday to her and the tape ended.

Annie was overcome with the sensations she was feeling and it took Little Annie crying to jolt her back to reality.  She realized that her thong underwear was soaking and decided to take it off and leave it in the bathroom to rinse out later. Wearing only her nightie she picked up Little Annie and went to the kitchen to get her bottle ready.  On the way, Little Annie spit out her pacifier and it fell to the floor without Annie noticing.  She got a bottle out and started the microwave thawing and got out a nipple cap for the bottle.  Then Little Annie started to wail so Annie went to put the pacifier back in and saw it wasn’t there.  Seeing it on the floor by the kitchen door, she bent over to pick it up unconsciously holding Little Annie to her as she did.

Suddenly she felt something unlike anything she had ever felt before.  Through the thin nightie Little Annie had recognized the feel of something familiar and she had latched on to Annie’s left nipple with everything she had and started sucking like there was no tomorrow.  

The combination of pain at this mauling and the pleasure it produced was almost enough to make Annie drop in her tracks except that the microwave rang signaling the breast milk was ready and even though Little Annie was doing her best there was no milk in these tits.  There, she thought to herself, I called them tits and that is what the are.  Tits was a “naughty” word Annie had always thought but it made her feel good just to say it.

She gave Little Annie the bottle and made a microwave pizza for herself.  Then she decided to be a little naughty and have one drink.  She took an 8 ounce glass out of the cupboard and filled with ice.  Then she settled little Annie in her crib, turned on the baby monitor, filled the glass from the fullest bottle which was called Southern Comfort and put in the July 4th DVD.

This one was taken out in the country and was older than the birthday one.  In fact it was before Tom and Angie were married.  Apparently it was at Angie’s parent’s farm and Annie recognized Angie’s little sister and her older brother and her mom and dad.  Tom was there with his mom and dad and older sister.  Angie’s sister was 5 years younger than Angie and looked to be about 10 so Annie guessed that Angie was about 15 and Tom 16.

It was a pretty ordinary picnic with a grill filled with hot-dogs and hamburgers, plates of corn on the cob and coleslaw and potato salad.  But as the film progressed people started to move over to the pool and get naked.  Before long swimming wasn’t the only activity taking place.

Annie sipped at the Southern Comfort.  At first she was put off by the bite of the alcohol but then it felt so warm and relaxing going down that she took bigger sips.  It was sweet and that helped her to like it as well.

It helped her absorb the shock of watching all these family members enjoying sex with one another.  Tom and Angie looked like it was their first time together as they shyly started to arouse each other.  Angie’s dad was working on her younger sister and Annie was stunned that this 10 year old could just climb on top of her dad and lower herself onto her father’s cock until it was all the way in.  Eventually he also had sex with Angie and then the women of Tom’s family as well. For nearly an hour every taboo Annie had heard of was dropped by the wayside.

Finally, they ended with a contest to see which male could last the longest.  Everyone picked a partner and they all assumed the missionary position and went to work.  One by one the men would cry out and thrust deep signaling an orgasm until only Tom, who was paired with Angie, and Angie’s dad who was in Tom’s sister were left.  For five minutes they stroked evenly in and out pausing now and then to fight back the urge to come.  The girls were under no such restraint however and enjoyed orgasm after orgasm until Tom’s sister’s pussy must have milked Angie’s dad too well and he growled in passion as he filled her with his seed.  Tom went about 30 seconds longer before letting himself erupt in Angie.

Annie was almost matching Angie orgasm for orgasm near the end.

Having never drunk alcohol and having poured a large glass for her first time Annie was slightly drunk although she preferred to think of it as mellowed out.  

She carefully prepared another bottle for Little Annie and went into Tom and Angie’s bedroom to put Little Annie in her crib.  Tom had slept in and the bed had been left unmade so she sat down with only her nightie on and fantasized about a lover like Tom doing the things Tom had done to those other women to her.  Before she knew it she dosed off.  

Half an hour later, Little Annie woke her up crying.  She changed her diaper and tried to get her back to sleep but it wasn’t working.  Then she remembered watching Angie burp her so she picked her up and put he over her shoulder and started to pat her back.  In a minute she was rewarded with a large burp from her namesake. Holding her up in front of her to congratulate her on such a good burp, Annie was suddenly covered in throw up. Putting Annie down she went into the bathroom and took off the
nightie and put it in the tub to rinse out in the morning.

It was almost midnight so she decided to do what she did at home, sleep in the nude.

The effects of the Southern Comfort were wearing off so she decided to be naughty and have just one more glass. Now that she was used to the taste she didn’t bother with ice. But only poured out six shots worth.  After a few sips she started to feel drowsy again and so she gulped the rest and put the empty glass in the sink.

Then she went back to Tom and Angie’s room to check on Little Annie.  As she was asleep, Annie lay back on the unmade bed and fell asleep as well,

At 2 AM two fateful things happened.

First Little Annie woke up fussing and wouldn’t go back to sleep even after a full bottle. So Annie decided to try something drastic.  Still naked as the day she was born, she took Little Annie over to the big bed and put all the pillows against the headboard. The she used them for a backrest and sat on the bed cradling the baby and holding her mouth up to one of her nipples.  Little Annie wasted no time in latching on to what was being offered.  This time there was no cloth barrier between Annie’s nipple and the little mouth and the sensations Annie felt went straight to her crotch. She drifted off to sleep with her legs spread apart, a baby to her tit and her hair falling across her face.

Meanwhile there were some problem’s at Tom’s friend’s bachelor party.  The club where they had rented a room was raided and the party had to break up.  Since Tom’s friend’s best man had been a designated driver it was decided to go back to Tom’s
place.  Tom was so drunk he barely could give directions.  The groom whose name was Andy was the young man of the couple in the movie from Angie’s birthday.  His best man, Hank, was from out of town and had never met Tom before tonight.

When they got to the house they practically had to carry Tom inside.  The plopped him down on the couch and stripped him down to his underwear and threw an afghan over him.  Then Hank headed down the hall to the bathroom.  On the way back he was stunned by the sight on the bed.  

“Hey, Andy,” he said in a loud whisper, “didn’t he say his wife was out of town?”

“What about it?”

“She musta got back early, come look at this.”

Andy came back and in the dark saw what looked like Angie asleep on the bed with baby Annie.

“Didn’t you say they were swingers?” Hank asked.  

“They sure are.”

“I think I might just introduce myself.”

“Let me know when your done cause I want a turn.”

Andy was the blond version of Tom who had picked him up before the party.  Hank was a big guy with a cock to match. Where Tom and Andy had good sized nine inchers, Hank had a full foot.  He stripped down at the bedside and gently lifted the now sleeping Little Annie and settled her in her crib.  Then he went back to the living room and nudged Andy.

“Done already?”

“No, I just want to know if I am supposed to use a condom?’

“No way. They love bareback and I know Angie’s on the pill.”

With that Hank went back and climbed up between sleeping Annie’s thighs.  He bent down and started to warm up what he thought was the swinger’s well used pussy of his best friend’s friend’s wife.

Annie was dreaming about the movies and could swear she could imagine someone’s mouth on her pussy and unconsciously thrust up to meet it.

Hank worked on spreading around her natural lubricant and then paid close attention to her clit.  Boy, he thought as he thrust his middle finger into her heretofore unused orifice, I could swear she was a virgin.  A month earlier, wondering what a cock would feel like, Angie and torn away her own hymen with the handle of a hairbrush so there was nothing to impede Hank’s progress and confirm his observation..

He moved his mouth up her belly to her nipples and spent a couple of minutes on each as the girl-woman below him moaned with pleasure.  Finally, he brushed the hair away from her mouth and began a French kiss.  Annie started to awaken as she realized she wasn’t alone but in the dark she assumed Tom must have come home. Just then the kisser broke the kiss and whispered, “Oh, Angie, you are so hot I can’t wait to fuck you.”

That was it!  Tom was drunk and thought she was Angie.  Hank started to kiss her again before she could protest.  Then she wasn’t sure she wanted to protest.  This was a chance to learn about sex and no one would know.  

She put her arms around Hank and thought Tom seemed bigger in bed.  Then she spread her legs as she felt her lover adjust his position. Suddenly it was there, something that was hard and yet soft and very warm right at the entrance to her pussy.  Without fanfare Hank rammed himself to the hilt and Annie came fully awake to the sudden fullness and pressure within her.  She was so wet from her previous ministrations that Hank was able to bury his monster to the balls with it tip up against her cervix.  He just lay there for a minute to enjoy the tightness.  He just couldn’t believe she was a party girl with a pussy this tight.

Annie was in shock but there was nothing she could do but continue his kiss. Finally Hank started to pull back until only the tip of his cock was in and then he thrust in again slowly and purposefully.  As he picked up speed Annie felt herself responding and thrusting up to meet him.  She had three big orgasms before she felt him thrust deeper than ever in her and start to twitch.  There was a sudden liquid warmth inside her and she realized she was filled with what she thought was Tom’s cum.  

My God, she thought, I’ve just been fucked and I could be pregnant.  But it was only a fleeting thought like crying over spilt milk.  Hank stayed within her as they basked in the afterglow until he had become flaccid enough to just slide out.

“Wait, right here,” he said as she lay there with her eyes closed and feeling his come slide out of her and down over her asshole.  She did not open them and therefore did not see in the hall light that it wasn’t Tom.

True to his word, Hank woke up Andy who went down the hall stripped and climbed in where his friend had just been.  Without a word he thrust his cock into her to the hilt and she felt his balls slap her ass.

“Oh, Angie,” said a strange voice, “Tom is so lucky!  You’re the best!”

Annie opened her eyes and looked through the hair covering her face and recognized the young man from the video and the man who had picked up Tom.  Tom had his swinger friend with and they thought she was Angie!

She was too embarrassed to have been caught naked in Angie’s bed with Angie’s baby at her breast to admit she wasn’t Angie so she just played along and enjoyed the ride Andy gave her.

Just then a big man she had never seen before stood in the doorway.

The man making love to her turned his head and said, “You were right, Hank, she’s a lot tighter than I remember.  She must have had a pussy tuck after the baby.”

At that point Annie was anointed with her second load of babymakers.

Andy got up and he and Hank left the room as Annie realized it was Hank who had been her first and who might be her baby’s father if she were pregnant.  

Hank and Tom went to the living room and stripped Tom of his underwear.   Then they walked him down the hall and laid him next to Annie who decided to become more active as “Angie”. She rolled on top of her “husband” with her cumdripping pussy over his mouth and began to suck on his cock as Angie had done in the home movie.

Groggily Tom started licking the pussy that was offered even though he was not familiar with it. It was only fair because whoever it was was giving him some decent head.  

After a couple of minutes his mystery lover turned herself around and sat down on his cock and started to ride him.  As he started to respond when things were going good, Anne felt the blond one get on the bed behind her and work his cock into her never used ass.  It was slow going and at times she thought she would tear open down there but Tom just held himself still in her as his friend got established.  

Then the rhythm got going again and suddenly the big man whose big cock had been the first to conquer her pussy appeared at her mouth and she opened to let him in.  He was really big and he pushed himself over her tongue to opening of her throat.  

Then with one final lunge he was down her throat.

Annie felt herself gulping air as he pulled out and suffocating when he went back in.

Then she heard Tom growl as he orgasmed inside her and she responded as best she could.  Then Andy came in her ass but Hank still had her breathless.
Recovering from his orgasm, Tom started to come fully awake.

“Oh, my God, you guys! This is our babysitter from next door.  She’s only 13.  Tell me you used condoms!”

“Andy said she was your wife and we didn’t need too.”

Tom and Andy stayed where they were with their cocks deflating inside her.

“Don’t worry about it,” said Hank, ”she’s not going to tell anyone.”

Annie was screaming in her head Right , I won’t!

But Hank’s cock stayed thrust down her throat and she remained pinned by Tom and his friend. The world was getting black and she could only feel the big man’s pubic hair tickle her nose and his balls rest on her chin.  

Cum already, she silently pleaded. Cum, cum, cum she repeated as she felt a powerful orgasm ripple through her body in response to being suffocated by cock.

“What makes you so sure she won’t say anything?” Tom asked.

“Because this big cock is good for more than just fucking.”

Feeling her body shudder, Hank erupted and shot straight down her throat to her stomach.

“You’re killing her!” Andy said pushing his friend away from her.

He pulled out with a plop as her head flopped down on to Tom.  Andy jumped off and
Tom rolled her onto her back applying CPR as though to a drowning victim.  It took a couple of artificial respirations before Annie coughed, spit up a big dose of Hank’s cum and started to breathe again and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.  She opened her eyes and looked up at them.

“If I promise not to tell, can we do that again?”

And they did.

Again and again and again…

Next up Annie plans her 14th birthday party……if you want more…….

« Last Edit: June 20, 2012, 09:45:36 PM by coacheric » Logged
Not Yet A Pervert

Fame 0
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 5

« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2009, 11:46:06 PM »

Your story was great really descriptive, but i must say, your intro was far too long.
Most people like to have an intro that grasps peoples attention, and keeps 'em hooked, but yours on the other hand... well it just didn't do that.
Well obviously it did, since i did finish it, but it didn't keep me secure while i guess going on the roller coaster ride of a near orgasm.. haha.
Mister Dream

Fame -7
Offline Offline

Posts: 341

I think I can beat Mike Tyson

« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2010, 06:45:36 AM »

am I crazy, or was there another story that was set up in the exact same way, but split when it came to who fucked the babysitter

Fame 21
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 239

« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2010, 04:35:03 PM »

I didn't comment about the post that said the intro was too long previously because I didn't know how well received my own stories might be and they have a great deal of detail in them.

However, this site gets a few hundred readers for stories.  I really wanted my stories well edited because I'm dislexic so I posted them on SOL.  Aside from the more than 1,000 emails that I have received in less than a week, a new story that is not posted here (although I will if someone wants me to) called "Second Chances" is currently the No 2 in weekly downloads for all of SOL.  Ok, for series anyway.  And the score is high enough that I can now say with confidence that the vast majority of readers want a decent introduction and significant setup up even for short stories.  "Second Chances" setup goes for three chapters and that amounts to about 40 pages of text.

Personally, I disliked this story because of the choking and almost murder of the girl.  That type of violence mixed in with the sex does not do it for me.  If that tiny little bit of the story had been removed I would have thought it was a very well written, erotic story. 

I thought the intro provided enough information to be invested in the characters enough to want to read all of it and it certainly was well written. 
« Last Edit: February 21, 2010, 12:22:01 AM by Ric9009 » Logged

Live as if you will die tomorrow.  Fight as if you will live forever.
Gina Marie
Lesbian Libtard.
Global Moderator
Burnt at the stake

Fame 1262
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 9,838

Yeah right...

« Reply #4 on: February 20, 2010, 11:36:07 PM »

Well - I liked it very much, and I prefer when it goes slow, instead of jumping right to the sex (or as I like to call it: "typical mens, get on and get in" style). The forced aspect was actually non-violent and pretty hawt!

I give it 2 clits up!

« Reply #5 on: February 20, 2010, 11:41:02 PM »

I loved this story...the long lead in was just right.  It built up and built up until the magic moments came...then continued to sizzle throughout.
Not Yet A Pervert

Fame 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 2

« Reply #6 on: June 14, 2014, 03:54:09 AM »

loved it! confused as to what happened to the baby... but still loved it.
Freakishly Strange

Fame 106
Offline Offline

Posts: 1,499

« Reply #7 on: June 28, 2014, 10:35:36 PM »

Are we going to get more?

It would be nice to get more...

HOMO SUM HUMANI A ME NIHIL ALIENUM PUTO<br /><br />(Go on, ask me, I might say yes)
New Pervert

Fame 1
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 17

« Reply #8 on: July 02, 2014, 03:18:55 AM »

I would like more...
Pages: [1]   Go Up
Jump to: