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Where do your darkest / weirdest fantasies come from?

IdleBoast · 925

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Offline IdleBoast

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on: January 06, 2017, 07:57:09 PM
I was chatting with another member about fantasies.  We weren't specifically being kinky, it was more a bout of casual self-reflection and philosophising about porn, but we both realised that we didn't know why we found some particular things arousing or erotic.

So, I thought I'd see how wide-spread this was.

I'm not asking anybody to reveal anything (though you are free to do so, should you feel driven to), but to answer this question:

Thinking about the fantasies or fetishes that you would consider "yours" (a part of you and your character, even if you have never revealed them to anybody) do you know where they come from?

A) Yes, they are linked to a part of my life or an incident that I can identify.
B) Yes, it is something I drifted into from some other topic and found I enjoyed thinking about.
C) Yes, it is something guided or influenced by the sharing of others (online or in the real world).
D) No, no idea, but that's fine.
E) No, no idea, in fact other people would not even recognise as being something I would find sexy.
F) No, no idea, and I wouldn't even share it anonymously because reasons.

G) Something else, please describe.


Go on, ask me - I might say yes...
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Offline eliza

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Reply #1 on: January 07, 2017, 04:57:16 AM
Definitely my childhood.



Offline herschel

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Reply #2 on: January 07, 2017, 12:07:40 PM
Are any of my fellow KBers familiar with the root chakra, the first of the seven chakras?

My fantasies originate in the collective unconscious, come in through the root chakra, and gather strength in the pelvis (second chakra) before their vapors rise up to conscious imagination. I like to get at least one good infusion per day, often the first thing I do before I get out of bed. If I do it right, it stays fresh for me the whole day.

I would say they have been greatly enhanced by C.): sharing with others, irl and online.

I would also agree with Eliza, that childhood experience was a big part of how everything took shape for me.



ChirpingGirl

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Reply #3 on: January 07, 2017, 03:08:24 PM
Definitely my childhood.

Same. But we aren't allowed to give details.  :roll:



Offline Meatbot

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Reply #4 on: January 07, 2017, 03:14:41 PM
Yeah.

Childhood experiences made me what I am, whatever the hell that is. Namely, harsh religious indoctrination (snake handlers & poison drinkers, the works.) It had the opposite effect intended on me, (and many others in my position, I still wonder why the "powers that be" in the church haven't seemed to notice this.) Anyway, I came out of my teens ready to do all the things that were "evil" or "wicked" or "not allowed," and haven't changed much over the last 40 years. The only thing I don't allow myself to do is set foot in a church.

"Naughty" gets me off big time, and most of what I consider "naughty" is childhood shit, little girls in dresses showing their panties, shit like that. Why my development stalled there is unknown to me, I don't know if I can actually blame that on my upbringing, but I think it's from "unfulfilled" longings of childhood or early teenhood. My strict upbringing was contrasted with living isolated on a farm in close contact with two sisters and two stepsisters, and that isolation pushed me into a physical (and spiritual) relationship during my teens with my older sister that continues to this day (that one I don't regret.)

In a way, I can't complain about my childhood, like I said, it gave me a strong reaction to "NAUGHTY," (I capitalized that on purpose.) Wicked shit gets me off big time. Some of it is thinking what family & friends would think of what I'm doing. Some of it is just wallowing in the sheer "evil wickedness" of what I'm doing. To me, families where sex is no big deal would be deadly boring. Remembering my sister sneaking into my bedroom in the middle of the night... that shit gets me off, big time. And although you'd almost think it might have, I didn't go in the direction of sado-masochism or de Sade-ish debauchery, I like it when people get along and every one is happy. I just like for them to be doing wicked shit.

Okay, that's a peek into the window of my soul*. I love to speculate and talk about stuff like this, and could go on for pages, but out of sympathy for you folks I've made it short. Finally, after years of silence, getting to talk about stuff like this (within reason and ages omitted) has been a great comfort to me. (For many years I thought I was the only one in the world that had thoughts like this.)  

Thanks for asking that one! Sorry if I passed beyond the scope of your original question...

'bot

*Actually, I don't believe in souls. I don't really believe in anything, other than the fact that the human race doesn't even know 0.0001% of what's out there in the universe, and probably never will. Life after death? Magical gaseous invertebrates? Prove it, and I'll believe the hell out of it.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2017, 07:23:36 PM by Meatbot »

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Offline MissBarbara

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Reply #5 on: January 07, 2017, 04:09:54 PM

I was chatting with another member about fantasies.  We weren't specifically being kinky, it was more a bout of casual self-reflection and philosophising about porn, but we both realised that we didn't know why we found some particular things arousing or erotic.

So, I thought I'd see how wide-spread this was.

I'm not asking anybody to reveal anything (though you are free to do so, should you feel driven to), but to answer this question:

Thinking about the fantasies or fetishes that you would consider "yours" (a part of you and your character, even if you have never revealed them to anybody) do you know where they come from?

A) Yes, they are linked to a part of my life or an incident that I can identify.
B) Yes, it is something I drifted into from some other topic and found I enjoyed thinking about.
C) Yes, it is something guided or influenced by the sharing of others (online or in the real world).
D) No, no idea, but that's fine.
E) No, no idea, in fact other people would not even recognise as being something I would find sexy.
F) No, no idea, and I wouldn't even share it anonymously because reasons.
G) Something else, please describe.



I think this is an excellent question. More than that, it's an extremely germane question since, in general, the chief theme of KB is exploring sexual fantasies (and, of course, recounting real-life sexual adventures). And, given that, I'd suspect that many KB members, perhaps even the majority, have pondered these questions.

Do you think there's a difference between turn-ons and fetishes? Though this might differ from person to person, I think there might be. For example, having a thing for redheads, or petite women, or men with hairy chests are turn ons. Being aroused by many of the topics in the story boards are fetishes.

For me it's mostly D, with a little but of E. I have "philosophized" about this topic, and I'm not sure there are connections or origins for any of them. For example, I have an obvious fondness for petite women with small breasts. I'm a petite woman with small breasts, and so is my mother, and so was my grandmother. A Freudian, of course, would have a field day with that, but I in no way think my fetish and my physical background/ancestry are in any way related.

I've also pondered the sources/origins of my deeper fetishes and darker fantasies -- the details of which are private, and will remain so -- and, again, I'm not sure they speak to anything in my background or personality, or reveal anything about my true nature. But, I will admit, perhaps I'm afraid to explore deeper, for fear of what I might find?
 
In that light, perhaps you might include an additional option in your list:

H) No, no idea, and I'm afraid to examine it more closely, for fear of what I might discover about myself.






"Sometimes the best things in life are a hot girl and a cold beer."



ChirpingGirl

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Reply #6 on: January 07, 2017, 04:21:25 PM
Childhood experiences made me what I am, whatever the hell that is.

Me too. The good, the incredible, the bad and the horrific.

Childhood was filled with many wondrous adventures and many horrific nightmares.

I hate men because of my childhood experiences. I love women because of my childhood experiences.

But for the bad, there was much more good. So much so that I still dream and fantasize about those times.



Offline Piper-Dreams

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Reply #7 on: January 07, 2017, 04:22:39 PM
Childhood experiences made me what I am, whatever the hell that is.

Me too. The good, the incredible, the bad and the horrific.

Childhood was filled with many wondrous adventures and many horrific nightmares.

I hate men because of my childhood experiences. I love women because of my childhood experiences.

But for the bad, there was much more good. So much so that I still dream and fantasize about those times.



 :emot_dancing:



Offline Meatbot

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Reply #8 on: January 07, 2017, 04:24:41 PM

H) No, no idea, and I'm afraid to examine it more closely, for fear of what I might discover about myself.


Great post, and good addition to the list.

My problem really is, and maybe this is my "lack of education's" fault, I'm not a psych major and only took a single psychology course in high school forty years ago... but, my problem is not that I'm afraid to look, it's that I don't know how to look. There is shit in my head that... I don't know what it is, I don't know how it got there, I don't know how much of it there is, and sometimes I can't even access it on demand; stuff has to trigger it.

Our minds are complicated and unique software constructs that live in our brains, and are constantly changed by both interactions between things inside and outside of our bodies. Some things stay just seconds. Some things stay our whole lives. Having a stroke a few years back and then currently watching my dad go through "Adult Onset Dementia" has changed my mind about many things that go on inside my head. Our minds are harder than the hardest metal, yet more fragile than a dandelion puff. Like MissB said, in all honesty, although I constantly probe, I probably don't want to know what's down there, in the basement of my mind. Occasionally things come up in my dreams that scare the shit out of me, at age 58. Out of anything in the world or the universe, we exist by the whim of and are jacked around most of all by our own minds, by the collection of memories and reactions that is ourself. Once again, I don't have the education to even say what I'm trying to say.

So, I'll just say... thanks Idle & MissB. Keep talking, folks.

'bot
« Last Edit: January 07, 2017, 11:46:28 PM by Meatbot »

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KitKat

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Reply #9 on: January 07, 2017, 04:28:42 PM
I would say it goes back to things I experienced in my life. I know not everyone believes in reincarnation, but I believe some things that you experienced in your previous lives stays with you also.



ChirpingGirl

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Reply #10 on: January 07, 2017, 04:30:13 PM
Childhood experiences made me what I am, whatever the hell that is.

Me too. The good, the incredible, the bad and the horrific.

Childhood was filled with many wondrous adventures and many horrific nightmares.

I hate men because of my childhood experiences. I love women because of my childhood experiences.

But for the bad, there was much more good. So much so that I still dream and fantasize about those times.



 :emot_dancing:

I should flood your PM's with horror stories.  :roll:



Offline Piper-Dreams

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Reply #11 on: January 07, 2017, 04:30:52 PM
Childhood experiences made me what I am, whatever the hell that is.

Me too. The good, the incredible, the bad and the horrific.

Childhood was filled with many wondrous adventures and many horrific nightmares.

I hate men because of my childhood experiences. I love women because of my childhood experiences.

But for the bad, there was much more good. So much so that I still dream and fantasize about those times.



 :emot_dancing:

I should flood your PM's with horror stories.  :roll:


Im waiting.



Offline MissBarbara

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Reply #12 on: January 07, 2017, 08:01:06 PM

H) No, no idea, and I'm afraid to examine it more closely, for fear of what I might discover about myself.


Great post, and good addition to the list.

My problem really is, and maybe this is my "lack of education's" fault, I'm not a psych major and only took a single psychology course in high school forty years ago... but, my problem is not that I'm afraid to look, it's that I don't know how to look. There is shit in my head that... I don't know what it is... I don't know how it got there... I don't know how much of it there is... and sometimes I can't even access it on demand. Stuff has to trigger it.

Our minds are complicated and unique software constructs that live in our brains, and are constantly changed by both interactions between things inside and outside of our bodies. Some things stay just seconds. Some things stay our whole lives. Having a stroke a few years back and then currently watching my dad go through "Adult Onset Dementia" has changed my mind about many things that go on inside my head. Our minds are harder than the hardest carbide, yet more fragile than a dandelion puff. Like MissB said, in all honesty, although I constantly probe, I probably don't want to know what's down there, in the basement of my mind. Occasionally things come up in my dreams that scare the shit out of me, at age 58. Out of anything in the world or the universe, we exist by the whim of and are jacked around most of all by our own minds, by the collection of memories and reactions that is ourself. Once again, I don't have the education to even say what I'm trying to say.

So, I'll just say... thanks Idle & MissB. Keep talking, folks.

'bot


I appreciate the honesty and insight of your response here, and even more so in your first post in this thread.

The more I think about it, the more I believe that this discussion touches upon the central theme of KB, and the reason why many of us our here: Exploring fantasies, and thereby, exploring our sexual selves.

I've grown enormously in my understanding of myself as a sexual being, and I am very grateful for to KB for allowing me the chance to do that. In a very real way, if I hadn't come here and spent time here, I would know and understand much less about myself than I do to day. And on top of that, KB has helped me to gain a real sense of comfort with some less than mainstream desires and fantasies.

Again, good posts, Meatbot!





"Sometimes the best things in life are a hot girl and a cold beer."



Offline IdleBoast

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Reply #13 on: January 08, 2017, 11:38:05 AM
I guess I ought to answer my own question.

Regarding sex and sexuality I had a very sheltered upbringing by prudish, religious parents.  As far as I can work out, before I joined this site, the only one of my fetishes that I could at least partly explain through personal experience is a preference for small breasts, but I have only recently (since the conversation that inspired this thread!) worked out (I think) the origin of my taste for images of control & bondage.

Turns out the two are linked, but board rules prevent public revelations*.  They have since been modified by...

C) Yes, it is something guided or influenced by the sharing of others (online or in the real world).

Everything else used to come under...

D) No, no idea, but that's fine.
E) No, no idea, in fact other people would not even recognise as being something I would find sexy.
F) No, no idea, and I wouldn't even share it anonymously because reasons.
H) No, no idea, and I'm afraid to examine it more closely, for fear of what I might discover about myself.


However, since joining KB, and having a chance to safely interact with others, I have realised that (H) no longer applies, and even (F) is shrinking as I spend time here (hence my signature).  (E) Only really applies offline, since there are still things I cannot share with my wife.




*You can PM me if you're desperate to know.


« Last Edit: January 09, 2017, 11:04:37 PM by IdleBoast »

Go on, ask me - I might say yes...
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Offline Katiebee

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Reply #14 on: January 08, 2017, 03:50:16 PM
For me, I believe it is A) and C).
That and I am simply naturally drawn to women.


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