Funniest thing said during sex!

[frenchfry54]

My Girlfriend and I were on a getaway for several days. She has told me many times that I smell like Grapefruit after I cum. We looked for a Grapefruit scented candle.. and found one. 
We lit the candle and then proceeded to get down to business.  As I was deeply focused on licking her clit, she was laying back.  As I was buried in her crotch... she was distracted by the smell of the candle and blurted out... "do you smell that???"  I looked up from my vantage point... and replied "is this a trick question?"  We both realized the source of her question and the perspective of my response at the same moment!  It took quite awhile to get back to the task at hand!

[shaver]

The only funny thing I can remember was the we were going at it and the bed collapsed.

[TheciaMarie]

We were on vacation in FL in a motel room. Just in from the beach.
In the middle of some heavy foreplay , he hit his hand on the headboard. I told him I'd kiss it and make it better. I kissed his hand and he stood up and Hit his dick against the headboard....I laughed....He did get blown though.

[JBRG]

The only funny thing I can remember was the we were going at it and the bed collapsed.

Happened to us last summer in a vacation rental. Just as I was about to climb on, boom, the mattress support on the bed collapsed. Turns out, it was not a well made frame. I fixed it best I could. We spend the rest of the vacation sleeping on the futon in the living room.

[KitKat]

The only funny thing I can remember was the we were going at it and the bed collapsed.

Happened to us last summer in a vacation rental. Just as I was about to climb on, boom, the mattress support on the bed collapsed. Turns out, it was not a well made frame. I fixed it best I could. We spend the rest of the vacation sleeping on the futon in the living room.

It's a lot more fun to do it on the floor anyway.

[JBRG]

I don't know if it counts as something funny said during sex but I was balls deep when my wife accepted my marriage proposal.

[KitKat]

I don't know if it counts as something funny said during sex but I was balls deep when my wife accepted my marriage proposal.

Damn!

[msslave]

So...way back in the early 50's, there was a TV show called Topper.  A banker was "haunted" by two ghosts and their St. Bernard.  A friend of my wife's (#2) asked her what the name of the dog was.  She didn't know and I couldn't remember.

A few days later we were going at it hot and heavy.  I was on top pumping away like crazy.  All of a sudden she stopped moaning and gasping and shouted out, "Kneel...kneel"!  I pulled out and knelt beside her on the bed, totally confused.  As she laughed and my little guy wilted she said,  The dog on "Topper", his name was Neal."  Can't remember if we go back to what we were doing, but I know I'll never forget that fucking dog's name!

[JBRG]

That sort of thing happens to my wife and I all the time. Not while engaging in carnal activities, mind you. But it's not unusual for us to be trying to remember something then blurting it out a few hours later.

Nothing like one of us blurting out what we just remembered and the other looking over saying, "huh?"

[KitKat]

Honestly, the less said during sex the better. Unless it's some hot dirty talk, otherwise shut up.

[JBRG]

Honestly, the less said during sex the better. Unless it's some hot dirty talk, otherwise shut up.

I get that a lot. Especially when I'm talking dirty.

[KitKat]

Honestly, the less said during sex the better. Unless it's some hot dirty talk, otherwise shut up.

I get that a lot. Especially when I'm talking dirty.

Some people don't like it, and it depends what you're saying.

[Whynotgirls]

I was once fingering a girl and right as she started cuming she says. Jesus loves me. I laughed my ass off

[Dirtymind]

I'm good at dirty talk. But outside of that I say phenomenally stupid things during sex. I don't know if it's all the blood is rushing from my brain or what, but now I keep it to dirty talk and shut the hell up.

[MintJulie]

I don't know if it counts as something funny said during sex but I was balls deep when my wife accepted my marriage proposal.

Wow.  Was it in the plans to ask her, or did you just get caught up in the moment?

Similarly, my sister proposed to her husband.   I don't recall if it was in the act of sex, or in the seconds immediately following.  She told me she just got caught up in the moment.  They had only been dating for like 10 days and it was their first time sleeping together.  A month before that she had broken up with a guy she had been dating for about 5 years.  He accepted.  They went through with it and eloped before anybody in the family ever met him.  I think they were married for 18 years before she lost her fight with cancer.  They had one of the most loving marriages I've ever witnessed.