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Author Topic: Is body modesty harmful?  (Read 354 times)
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MissBarbara
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« Reply #15 on: March 14, 2019, 06:30:06 PM »


Yeah, this definitely needs to be moved to Sex Talk if nothing else, but he's new.


Nope.

As far as I understand things, it would be inappropriate there as well.




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psiberzerker
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« Reply #16 on: March 14, 2019, 06:44:45 PM »

With my advocate's cap firmly on my head, please, please, please stop perpetuating false, and potentially dangerous, information about "breaking the hymen."

I'm not.  I'm illustrating the false narrative that the hymen is some sort of barrier.  I'm trying to point out that it IS false, not perpetuate it, but point out the truths that are skipped over with the lies, which go along with the "Abstinence Only" narrative.

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I'm sure you know this, and the "confusion" is likely a result of inexact phrasing on your part or denseness on my part, but, for the record, a "virgin" on her wedding night might not have an intact hymen even is she has never had penetrative sex with a man before. And, correspondingly, a "virgin" on her wedding night who has never had penetrative sex with a man before might engage in penetrative sex with her new husband, and still retain an intact hymen.

Right, however, she might have an Imperforate Hymen, (Which isn't the norm, but was misrepresented as the norm for century due to the Purity Myths) Or, and undiagnosed intersex, where the vaginal cavity is shallow, and dead ends.  (Honestly too many complicated conditions to even name that may result in that sort of disgenesis.)   Roughly where you would expect there to be a hymen, if you have no better sex education than "Wait until you're married," and boy's locker-room talk.  Or...  

Why I said that I can't even guestimate how many wives have been deflowered painfully on their wedding night, only the ones I have talked to in therapy.  

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I suspect that in the majority of instances, she has a fairly good idea of what is going to happen. And even a sexually experienced woman on her wedding night might be nervous, and for a wide variety of reasons. Come to think of it, I'd suspect most people are at least a little nervous in their first experience with a new partner.

I know that statistically, 1-in-3 women report having some sort of sexual assault before they turned 18.  That's not a Majority, but we're not talking about Most cases.  We're talking about the traumatic ones, that might be partially enabled by these puritanical concepts of Modesty, Ignorance (Disinformation posing as Education, like the Palin Doctrine) and guys that don't know anything about how to do it their first time except for what they saw in Porn, and/or head about from guys bragging in the Locker Room.  

So, for another example:  The #FriendZone.  I got this talk, because I was forced into the Boy's Room out of misdiagnosis.  Bygones, but the narrative is that you don't talk to girls who just want to be friends, because that's a trap.  The only reason for a relationship between men, and women is Sexual (When you're old enough) but considering the source, I heard this narrative from Seniors, "Alpha Men" telling the betas how to talk to girls about sex.

"Don't talk to my girlfriend."  So, assuming that the newlywed Bride knows all about the hymen, having had one, there's probably thousands (Not a majority) of newlywed grooms out there that don't know anything about foreplay.  Getting a woman ready for sex, which is defined in their minds as "Stick it in there."  Other than the advice of Power Assertive role models like "Grab them by the pussy."

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A woman's hymen is both one of the most misunderstood body parts, and one of the most aggressively overrated body parts. Today, except in extreme circumstances, its vestigial to the point of meaninglessness. Granted, I'm aware that discussions about a woman's hymen tend to loom largely in both the writing of erotic fiction and in the masturbatory desires fueled by that fiction. Of course, many things happen in fiction that do not happen in real life. That's kinda the point. But the tendency to spread disinformation is something that should at least be considered.

Apologies for the minor (pun intended) hijack. As I mentioned, sometimes I have a hard time taking off my advocate's cap.

No, thank you, for your contribution to the discussion.  Especially your PoV as a woman, who's possibly had a hymen at some point, and may have even had Sex Education before it became Politically Correct to keep young adults in the dark until their wedding nights.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2019, 06:47:30 PM by psiberzerker » Logged

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« Reply #17 on: March 14, 2019, 06:53:18 PM »

Oh, I just thought of a prime example of "Modesty" being potentially harmful:

Public nursing.  A mother can be politely asked to take her child out of the dining room of a retaurant, and feed the infant in the restrooms, in the interest of Public Decency.

Am I the only one that sees a problem with that?  Where's she supposed to sit?  Certainly not out in public, where there's people eating!
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« Reply #18 on: March 14, 2019, 07:30:48 PM »

Oh, I just thought of a prime example of "Modesty" being potentially harmful:

Public nursing.  A mother can be politely asked to take her child out of the dining room of a retaurant, and feed the infant in the restrooms, in the interest of Public Decency.

Am I the only one that sees a problem with that?  Where's she supposed to sit?  Certainly not out in public, where there's people eating!

If it is done discretely, why not?
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« Reply #19 on: March 14, 2019, 07:38:58 PM »

If it is done discretely, why not?

Because 1 place is intended for people to eat, and the other one is for getting rid of waste.  (For instance changing diapers.)  I just have to point out the insane irony of forcing a mother to feed her child in such an unsanitary place, because the other customers might get a glimpse of a nipple.
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MissBarbara
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« Reply #20 on: March 14, 2019, 09:12:47 PM »


If it is done discretely, why not?


Because 1 place is intended for people to eat, and the other one is for getting rid of waste.  (For instance changing diapers.)  I just have to point out the insane irony of forcing a mother to feed her child in such an unsanitary place, because the other customers might get a glimpse of a nipple.


Or the insane irony of not allowing a baby to eat...in a restaurant.




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psiberzerker
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« Reply #21 on: March 14, 2019, 09:24:35 PM »

Or the insane irony of not allowing a baby to eat...in a restaurant.

Right?  You can't feed that here.  Like a dog, not a human being, someone might see it.  Not that it's unsanitary, why don't you take it in the restroom, where you can have some privacy.

Because some stuck up prudes can't think of anything non-sexual to do with a fucking nipple.
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« Reply #22 on: March 14, 2019, 10:15:34 PM »


Because some stuck up prudes can't think of anything non-sexual to do with a fucking nipple.


And some unstuck perverts...   emot_thdrool emot_thdrool emot_thdrool
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« Reply #23 on: March 14, 2019, 10:18:21 PM »

Because some stuck up prudes can't think of anything non-sexual to do with a fucking nipple.
And some unstuck perverts...   emot_thdrool emot_thdrool emot_thdrool

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« Reply #24 on: March 15, 2019, 02:25:17 AM »


To answer the original question: not always.

My parents weren't open about it.  Mom was an RN, but didn't play Doctor at home.  Nudity was never allowed at home after we were babies.

After I left home, I turned into an occasional nudist.  The closest nude hotsprings was a 90 minute drive north of Phoenix, and I took regular sabbaticals there.  I'm skinny, and nothing whatsoever like a Greek god, but that didn't matter there.  It was very refreshing to find people that weren't afraid of their skin.

I'd have been more than willing to pass on the rotund German tourists, though.   Shocked 
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MissBarbara
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« Reply #25 on: March 15, 2019, 04:38:09 PM »



To answer the original question: not always.

My parents weren't open about it.  Mom was an RN, but didn't play Doctor at home.  Nudity was never allowed at home after we were babies.

After I left home, I turned into an occasional nudist.  The closest nude hotsprings was a 90 minute drive north of Phoenix, and I took regular sabbaticals there.  I'm skinny, and nothing whatsoever like a Greek god, but that didn't matter there.  It was very refreshing to find people that weren't afraid of their skin.

I'd have been more than willing to pass on the rotund German tourists, though.   Shocked 


I love how you use the word "refreshing" here. It's the perfect word. And, in a real way, the "rotund German tourists" played a role in that.

My sole experience at a nude beach -- and I kept my bottom on except when I was in the water -- was similar. It was in Hawaii on a weekday late morning, and the majority of the people there were "rotund" Polynesian women with their kids (along with a handful of frat boy newlyweds). It was very natural, and that made it very refreshing.




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« Reply #26 on: March 15, 2019, 04:45:12 PM »



My sole experience at a nude beach -- and I kept my bottom on except when I was in the water -- was similar. It was in Hawaii on a weekday late morning.




And now it's my mind enjoying THAT mental image.

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MissBarbara
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« Reply #27 on: March 15, 2019, 05:54:24 PM »


And now it's my mind enjoying THAT mental image.


Which image, the "rotund" Polynesian women?




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psiberzerker
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« Reply #28 on: March 15, 2019, 06:01:38 PM »

Which image, the "rotund" Polynesian women?

I have to admit that I like the Polynesian look.  Not just their figures, but also their faces, and of course the long dark hair.  It's a good look, and the dress flatters it too.

We grew up with casual nudity.  My brother, sister, and I.  When we lived in Corpus Christi, all we had was natural air conditioning.  We put box fans up to enhance the sea breeze, then switched them around when it went the other way.  Dad also drove far enough down Padre Island )Which is over a hundred miles long) that we could run around naked, and they could beach under the parawing. 

Yeah, I'm fucked up, but it has nothing to do with seeing my siblings naked when I was a little...  Kid.  (It had more to do with being forced to go through the wrong puberty in North Carolina, and Texas, where #TransphobiaIsHomophobia.)  For one thing, it was the 70s, and my parents were hippies in the 60s.  So, we also knew a lot of family where nudity just wasn't a big deal.
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MissBarbara
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« Reply #29 on: March 15, 2019, 06:05:29 PM »


Which image, the "rotund" Polynesian women?


I have to admit that I like the Polynesian look.  Not just their figures, but also their faces, and of course the long dark hair.  It's a good look, and the dress flatters it too.






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