I should not have shared the photograph.
I know the risks of sharing photos on line. When I first started in sex chat, I did so - the erotic thrill of knowing strange men were leering at - and possiby masturbating to - me, partly or fully naked, was intense. I quickly learned to be more cautious - but I am naturally reckless and still do share, though carefully, rarely and only with those I trust.
But I did share this one.
It is one of my favourite, of very few explicit pictures I have of me. I took it, with my camera mounted on a little portable tripod, using the timer, for my husband a few years ago when we were both separated by travelling a lot. It is quite demure really, though I am full-frontal nude in it: my face looks ... modest ... almost uncertain ... which was how I felt, it being the first time I took such an explicit picture of myself. That modest look, I think, combined with my nudity, expresses some of the complex nuance of my character: highly sexual but also reserved.
I recreated the pose for my artist friend, who created the sketch I use as my avatar in the sex forum: the avatar follows his own artistic style, flatters me but also anonymizes and that relative anonymity is what led me to use it as an avatar - a way of exposing myself without exposing my identity.
The man asked me about the avatar and I explained, naively, which was what led to his requesting to see the original picture. He was honest, and said he wanted to make a 'tribute' to me. I know what a 'tribute' is: and despite - perhaps because of - the feeling of shame the idea raised in me there was also - as so often with sexual things - a guilty fascination, a desire to see such a thing, to witness the effect that I - or at least my picture - had on a man I did not know.
I did not expect him to send a video.
I hesitated when the video arrived: unsure whether to view it, but certain really that I would.
He had my picture on his mobile phone. His penis poised above it - above the picture of my fully naked body. He stroked himself, over my nude picture - I could hear him gasping as he did so. I watched, fascinated, as he did it - masturbating himself, over my picture, his penis moving as he stroked it, becoming more urgent.
When he came, his cum spurted onto my face and breasts, coating me.
I wished it had really been me.