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When does old young get creepy

DeelyStan · 1615

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Offline DeelyStan

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on: January 30, 2021, 09:52:43 PM
There is a whole section here on UA sex stories and I got to wondering...
When I was 32, I dated an eighteen year-old. A co-worker envied me, though he added the caveat if it were his daughter, adult or not, he'd probably "kill" me. As far as I know, we never got any strage looks. She was a bigger girl, maybe five-eight, 180 pounds, and I'm two inches shorter, same weight and always looked young for my age, so the age gap may not have been too apparent without close inspection.
Around that same time, I was also partying with the fraternity that had taken up residence next door and always felt like a "creepy old guy", despite my youthful looks and that the age gap was fourteen at the most.
Fast forward twelve years, I was dating another 18 year old lady, but anyway... we got some LOOKS. Now, she was four-foot nine, ninety pounds, so that may have had something to do with it and with me being very white and her being very black, well, the dad daughter theory probably did not pop into any heads.
I was thinking about that today while reminiscing during a spirited country drive. At what age does it really begin to look creepy? Most people go from "he should know better, be more discreet or wait a few years" to "eww, gross!" 30? 40? Somewhere in between? After 50, well, I think most would say, "yeah, he's not well."

I mean no offense to anyone who may be attracted to younger women (I have a look quietly policy myself, I know it's wrong and don't act on it and I harbor no incest fantasies).








No real life discussions involving anyone the under age of 18.  Post modified to remove.
« Last Edit: January 31, 2021, 01:58:37 AM by ToeinH2O »



Offline Dudester

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Reply #1 on: January 30, 2021, 11:08:54 PM
When I was 12, I wanted a 24 year old woman. when I was 24 I wanted a 24 year old woman. When I was 48 I did date a 24 year old woman. Actually, she was an escort and our relationship had transcended client/provider, so, we went out in public on regular dates a few times. On the dates, she wasn't "on the clock", so it was relaxed for us. With that said, we did draw stares because she was the spitting image of Beyonce.

There was an escort before her that I did go out on dates with off the clock. She was also half my age. We didn't draw any stares because she was attractive, not beautiful and also because she didn't resemble a celebrity.

With that said, a former French prime minister (Mitterand) had a mistress and wife. Both were half his age and they stood next to each other at the funeral. Men of means in Europe have mistresses. The present Canadian prime minister, Trudeau, his father was also prime minister. The senior Trudeau, was 62 and his wife 26 when he took office. Maggie Trudeau cheated often on her husband and it became a running joke. Since the senior Trudeau served in the 70's, Maggie's cheating was also at the center of a "That 70's Show" episode. The boys are being questioned about why they are in Canada.
Mounty 1: What are you doing in Canada?
Hyde:We're here to bang Maggie Trudeau.
Mounty 1: Been there.
Mounty 2: Done that. .



_priapism

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Reply #2 on: January 31, 2021, 01:55:38 AM
The long time “lowest age limit” rule was half your age, plus 7.  So a forty year old could go out with a 27 year old... 50, 32. 60, 37.

I’ve dated, fucked, and married all over the spectrum.  One of my bigger mistakes was a 21 year old. I was 37.  25.5 should have been my low bar.  I thought we’d grow closer over the years... I mean a 31 year old together with a 47 year old doesn’t sound creepy, do they?

What I discovered over time was that I was more or less already at a stable point in my maturity.  I knew who I was and what I wanted.  She was still very much growing up.  Eventually the resentment and anger spilled over and we had a very nasty breakup.

So I think it’s more a question of personalities than what other people think.  But the larger the age gap, the more trouble you can expect in the long term.  IMHO.
« Last Edit: January 31, 2021, 10:39:31 PM by ToeinH2O »



Offline staci

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Reply #3 on: January 31, 2021, 05:21:19 AM
rules like that makes it tough on Cougars. Many of young Lad would end up inexperienced.



Offline Clitical Thinking

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Reply #4 on: January 31, 2021, 05:57:00 AM
I was in the hospital for a knee surgery when I was 38. I began flirting a little with a cute nurse who looked in her mid 20s. I wasn't trying to get her pants and it was just meant to be a bit of fun. But when she told me she was a student nurse at the local college and that she was 19, I honestly felt bad. I don't have kids, but part of it nevertheless was that I realized she was young enough to be my daughter if I'd become a father at 19. The other part of it was that she was so close to 18.

Had she been 39 and me 58, she still would've been young enough to be my daughter, but I undoubtedly wouldn't have felt quite like such a dirty old man.

So the half-your-age-plus-seven rule seems like a good general rule of thumb, also for practical reasons, since the gap in maturity is going to be much bigger between a 19 and a 38 year old than between a 39 and 58 year old, which can consequently lead to relationship problems.

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Offline MissBarbara

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Reply #5 on: January 31, 2021, 06:56:18 PM

The long time “lowest age limit” rule was half your age, plus 7. 



I've heard the half your age minus seven many times too and it seems to fit.


Wow, that's way to much math for me!

Consider this: If you are both of legal age and the relationship is consensual, then why would "creepiness" be a factor at all?

There are many different types of relationships that might cause raised eyebrows, but if you're both happy with the relationship, why care what other people think?





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_priapism

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Reply #6 on: January 31, 2021, 10:17:46 PM


So the half-your-age-plus-seven rule seems like a good general rule of thumb, also for practical reasons, since the gap in maturity is going to be much bigger between a 19 and a 38 year old than between a 39 and 58 year old, which can consequently lead to relationship problems.



Where does half your age plus 7 come from? Half your age +7 is an unofficial rule of romance, often credited to French author Max O’Rell (Leon Paul Blouet) it his 1901 love manual with the incredibly romantic title of Her Royal Highness Woman and His Majesty Cupid.
« Last Edit: January 31, 2021, 10:37:36 PM by ToeinH2O »



Offline purpleshoes

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Reply #7 on: February 01, 2021, 12:46:20 PM
I've never heard of the half your age plus (or minus) seven years, but I think Miss Barbara summed it up well.

Quote from:  MissB
Consider this: If you are both of legal age and the relationship is consensual, then why would "creepiness" be a factor at all?

There are many different types of relationships that might cause raised eyebrows, but if you're both happy with the relationship, why care what other people think?

I had a cousin who was married at age 28 to a man age 54. They were married for 28 years before she passed away in 2005. He lived another three years after she died.



Offline Army of One

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Reply #8 on: February 02, 2021, 07:03:00 AM
I've never heard of the half your age plus (or minus) seven years, but I think Miss Barbara summed it up well.
I have. It was mentioned in, I think, The Importance of Being Earnest, which is where it may have its origins. But pretty much every relationship advisor notes it's utter hogwash.

It does make things interesting, though; my current relationship (yes, the one that's resulted in marraige) has me nine years her senior, which probably made things a little creepy given we met when she was nineteen and just finishing her gap year. On the other hand, my previous, she was five years my senior. (Although she was a coworker, so there were disapproving looks because of that, especially since she looked younger than her age.)

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Offline BrorMyra

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Reply #9 on: March 21, 2021, 11:50:10 PM
There is a whole section here on UA sex stories and I got to wondering...
When I was 32, I dated an eighteen year-old. A co-worker envied me, though he added the caveat if it were his daughter, adult or not, he'd probably "kill" me. As far as I know, we never got any strage looks. She was a bigger girl, maybe five-eight, 180 pounds, and I'm two inches shorter, same weight and always looked young for my age, so the age gap may not have been too apparent without close inspection.
Around that same time, I was also partying with the fraternity that had taken up residence next door and always felt like a "creepy old guy", despite my youthful looks and that the age gap was fourteen at the most.
Fast forward twelve years, I was dating another 18 year old lady, but anyway... we got some LOOKS. Now, she was four-foot nine, ninety pounds, so that may have had something to do with it and with me being very white and her being very black, well, the dad daughter theory probably did not pop into any heads.
I was thinking about that today while reminiscing during a spirited country drive. At what age does it really begin to look creepy? Most people go from "he should know better, be more discreet or wait a few years" to "eww, gross!" 30? 40? Somewhere in between? After 50, well, I think most would say, "yeah, he's not well."

I mean no offense to anyone who may be attracted to younger women (I have a look quietly policy myself, I know it's wrong and don't act on it and I harbor no incest fantasies).

No real life discussions involving anyone the under age of 18.  Post modified to remove.

I once dated a young lady who was 39 years younger than I was – we did not get any creepy looks because everyone assumed she was my daughter  ;D



Offline BrorMyra

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Reply #10 on: March 22, 2021, 01:33:27 PM
I can't refrain from reposting a joke I saw earlier today.

Lennart to his retired friend Carl:
- it is not god that you are so much with ladies at your age.
Carl:
- no, no, it is no problem. They are not my age.



Offline Colin Piper

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Reply #11 on: March 23, 2021, 06:30:55 AM
I read the half your age plus 7 years theory I think from Robert Heinlein - possibly in Time Enough For Love (will re-read it some day, I hope.)

In a couple of years my golfing buddy's daughter will be 21 and I'll be 50ish, so then it will be ok for us to be together in my mind (yes, fails the half-plus-7 by a long way, but it's what we both want) and I'll take her to Thailand and go to resorts where fat old European men hang out with their much younger Thai girlfriends. They'll see us together, her much younger and white and red haired and gorgeous and they'll be jealous because I'll have what they always wanted, where they've had to settle for a substitute and look very sad at dinner because they've got nothing to say to each other. (Ok, this is fantasy based on real circumstances - but in fantasy world anything is allowed. Some men prefer Asian women anyway, so I'm not being racist or putting anyone down, their being jealous is just part of the fantasy.)

Given this was started by Deely Stan:

Hey Nineteen
No, we can't dance together
(We can't dance together)
No, we can't talk at all
Please take me along
When you slide on down.


and my favourite part...

The Cuervo Gold
The fine Colombian
Make tonight a wonderful thing


So, yes, it's a great fantasy, but the reality may not live up to it. I think that's what the song is about.
« Last Edit: March 23, 2021, 07:49:40 AM by Colin Piper »



Offline Supersoftball

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Reply #12 on: May 29, 2021, 04:44:46 PM
When you're confronted by the mother of the girl, who you dated when the girl was 18.
« Last Edit: June 26, 2021, 07:17:51 PM by ToeinH2O »

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Offline FaceInTheFrost

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Reply #13 on: June 20, 2021, 08:55:22 PM
I honestly don't think this is measured by the gap between partners so much as the age of the younger person. If they're in their mid-twenties at a minimum, I'm like, okay, they have experienced something of life, they know what they want. It's just unusual. Early twenties or younger, in an age-mismatched relationship -- likely to be creepy.



Offline Supersoftball

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Reply #14 on: June 26, 2021, 03:01:20 PM
Whatever she's comfortable with. I've been having sexual contact with my daughter's friend, she's 22 and married. It would have to be someone my mother's age for it to be creepy for me.


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« Last Edit: June 26, 2021, 04:24:06 PM by ToeinH2O »

Bass Reeves<br /><br />\"It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere.\"