sexism as a fetish/kink

[DurtyDurtyGirl]

ok so not sure how to put this but does anyone find sexism a turn on?
I'm not talking about D/s relationships, I'm just talking about ignorant sexist arseholes.
you might also call it misogyny - prejudice against women just because we are women.
i hate it. i don't believe we are any different. or inferior. to men.

but there is something in that wrongness that i am drawn to.
The idea of instead of trying to fight it, just giving into it.
dont get me wrong i'm not a feminist either. a long way from it.
one of my problems is i keep letting abusive sexist arseholes into my life.
I know I shouldn't accept it. but there is a reason i do.
anyone else think about these things?

[DurtyDurtyGirl]

Erm, just me then...

That will be a fetish for one then please. 

[_priapism]

I can be very misogynistic in role play, but if I acted that way all the time, I don’t think many would find it arousing.  I live in Texas, and all of the assholes have climbed out of their caves in the Trump era.

[DurtyDurtyGirl]

yeah. its not attractive in any other way than sexually. I guess my problem has always been that it's the sexual bit that comes first.
or used to.
I am trying life differently at the moment and its had me thinking why I keep getting involved with guys who are obviously such arseholes. though the obvious conclusion is that it is partly the reason i go with them in the first place. 
thanks for the reply x

[Clitical Thinking]

Could it be a kind of humiliation fetish? Some people enjoy being shit on, figuratively and occasionally even literally. I can't say that I fully understand the psychology behind it, but I've heard that in some cases it might go back to one's upbringing. For example, if your father or another male family member growing up had a very misogynistic attitude, it might be something you seek out later in life, even if you consciously understand that misogynist behavior is abusive and wrong.

I once had a girlfriend that ended things because I was 'too nice.' Not too nice in the sense that I was her doormat, that I agreed with her on everything and let her make all the decisions. Rather, she told me I treated her much better than that she was used to, because her family (and previous boyfriends) couldn't go very long without wanting to fight and shout. My treating her with respect then made her worry that things were too good to be true and that there was a catch, maybe I was being nice because I was scheming something. She conceded that I most likely wasn't up to anything nefarious but that she just couldn't get over the strange feeling she got from being treated well. We ran into each other again months later and - surprise, surprise - she was with a scumbag that didn't treat her very well, but she seemed happy about it anyway, I guess because for her that was normal behavior

[DurtyDurtyGirl]

I think you have hit on something true there.
Humiliation is something bound up in me and my sexuality.
Being shit on figuratively and, more recently, literally.
and yeah it most definitely has a lot to do with my father and other men in my mothers life.

i think i would have sympathised with your ex, I have never been drawn to caring types.
though i know it is a stupid approach to love and life.
i once went on a few dates with a guy who was constantly asking my opinion and checking everything with me. I know he was just being attentive and showing genuine interest in me. But it was fucking exhausting. I could not start an argument with him or find anything that he was passionate enough about to stand his ground.
He was lovely to look at, but all flower and no thorns.
His housemate, on the other hand, had a lovely prick.
I will stop now coz I am sounding like such a bitch, and i don't mean to say that you are like that that guy was. i'm just saying that you are right. some of us can't handle a nice guy when see one.

[_priapism]

My personal theory is this. Most women are brought up as children with unrealistic expectations, sexual mores, and guilt piled on them by well intentioned but misguided parents and role models. This is neither realistic, nor good for the child.

As a result, most young women at some point in their lives are sexually repressed to a certain extent, and feel guilty about their normal sexual urges and inclinations.

Meeting and sexually interacting with an “asshole“ is an escape route that some choose. Because, they feel no guilt for being submissive to an abusive and dominating male. Because “I’m not doing this because I like it, I’m doing this because he made me do it.“

And when I see the tell signs of this particular mental state, I’m not ashamed about exploiting it. So I’ll tell her she’s a nasty filthy slut. That she wants to suck my cock. That she’d love my dick in her ass. And sometimes that’s the best sex I’ve ever had. And sometimes they leave quietly in the morning and never call me again. So just depends on the person and the circumstances.

“That’s all I have to say about that war in Vietnam.” — Forrest Gump.

[purpleshoes]

My personal theory is this. Most women are brought up as children with unrealistic expectations, sexual mores, and guilt piled on them by well intentioned but misguided parents and role models. This is neither realistic, nor good for the child.

As a result, most young women at some point in their lives are sexually repressed to a certain extent, and feel guilty about their normal sexual urges and inclinations.

Meeting and sexually interacting with an “asshole“ is an escape route that some choose. Because, they feel no guilt for being submissive to an abusive and dominating male. Because “I’m not doing this because I like it, I’m doing this because he made me do it.“

And when I see the tell signs of this particular mental state, I’m not ashamed about exploiting it. So I’ll tell her she’s a nasty filthy slut. That she wants to suck my cock. That she’d love my dick in her ass. And sometimes that’s the best sex I’ve ever had. And sometimes they leave quietly in the morning and never call me again. So just depends on the person and the circumstances.

“That’s all I have to say about that war in Vietnam.” — Forrest Gump.

I think your first three paragraphs are (unfortunately) spot on.

I'm not sure that I agree with your description of 'exploiting it' because being told she is 'a nasty filthy slut' is going to give her what she needs. We all have our little kinks.

From what DDG has shared with us through posts, stories and her blog, it would seem she's had some experiences that some would consider traumatic or degrading, but it's what she has to work with and I commend her for coping as best she can.

[Shiela_M]

Toe completely nailed it, at least with me he did.

My stepfather was all sugar and flowers.  A real sweet talker and I was dumb, ignorant, and gullible that I fell for all of it.  You learn the birds and bees in school, but rely on role models and guardians to show you more than just the mechanics of it. When one of the uses it to get what he/she wants, the perspective of how things are, gets extremely warped. I enjoyed hearing words of encouragement and compliments and thought I was the best at pleasing men. I had an abusive stepfather and a mother who blamed me for it.

I joined the Army to help me escape that life and tried to start over.  I overcorrected and met my ex-fiance who to be honest was a jerk, but I mistook it to be a confident personality. He wouldnt be overly mean to me 8n public, but was a complete jerk in private. However, I mistook that for being a dominating male and I was his submissive whore.  I wouldn't tell him no, and he used it to get whatever he wanted out of me.  A lot of the things he did to me I still enjoy to this day, but there are also things that I hated and regret ever doing like lickingnsucking his feet and toes, giving him rim jobs, and him peeing on me.  After a year of it, my friends telling me to get out, I finally told him no that I wasn't going to do something.  He beat and raped me.

Fast forward to today, I'm a lot wiser of it all and know the difference between dominant and sexist, or misogynistic. I don't get turned on from a sexist prick, but I have no time for a guy who just folds on every decision made.  Almost too scared to disagree with me.  The guy has to have that touch of complete jerk in order for me to get what I want.  When I'm being a submissive little whore who loves to "service her Master's cock", or wants "Master to pound my ass hard"  He can't be afraid to do what he wants, but still has respect for me to make sure I'm ok with it all.  If I'm not liking something or I need him to stop he does without hesitation.

I think in may have gotten a little off topic, thinking about being dominated and bent over.... I was already craving a visitor at my back door, and then I read Toe's post... momma wants it raunchy 

[DurtyDurtyGirl]

Thank you Sheila xxx

made me think a lot.
being able to tell the difference is what i should be aiming for i guess. but the jerks will always have something we need.
I have a current no males policy which is part solving the problem.
but obviously has some significant drawbacks. 


xxx