A Writer's Tool: Seven Deadly Sins of Writing

[A Webber]

THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS OF WRITING

Simple tips that will help you write like a professional Web author.

http://www.asstr.org/~Kristen/words.htm

[Bifunlady]

Not sure why this is in sex stories by members but I am gulity of at least two of these sins. BTW, how do you get 18 woos in 20 post?

[goldfish]

Good article!  I do re-read all my stories many times.  Check spelling and content/structure.  Many spell checkers also do content reading.  Some of them also correct spelling and automatically re-proof inserting incorrect words or for some reason overlooks some errors and says the word is spelled correctly when it is actually 2 words.  I find this everytime I re-read for proofing.

[Gina Marie]

Because he is damn sexy!!! (BTW - I just upped it to 19 for this post) Bi Fun -  Monsieur Webber is the reason Kristen's Collection is not a dead end in the ASSTR - He is the one who keeps it alive and current! I think a few WOO's are in order!

[Bifunlady]

Because he is damn sexy!!! (BTW - I just upped it to 19 for this post) Bi Fun -  Monsieur Webber is the reason Kristen's Collection is not a dead end in the ASSTR - He is the one who keeps it alive and current! I think a few WOO's are in order!

Damn so it is who you know.

[DanteDC]

Im surprised Procrastination isnt in there.

[Bigdaddymmm3]

Thanks to you Mr. Webber with a big WOO!!  I read the archives long before I found the board!!    

[KvN]

Don't fogret about Phil Phantom's Golden Rules of Erotiporn:

Here are my ten golden rules for writing good erotiporn.
Erotiporn is the hybrid of erotica (love stories involving
genitalia) and pornography (filth without character development
or plot).  Good erotiporn is like good pussy: tight, wet, and
clean.

           "Phil Phantom's Golden Rules of Writing Erotiporn"

     1.  Let the beast within you write to the beast within your
     readers.  The beast controls sexual response and all
     orgasms.  Feed the beast, and the beast will reward you;
     ignore the beast, and you may as well be writing a script to
     a how-to video.  Sex without orgasm is exercise; a story
     without orgasm is reading.  A.S.S. subscribers avoid both.

     2.  Try to avoid the temptation to wander.  When you write
     erotiporn, the beast within you is feeding you ideas.  Your
     beast, and mine, are dumb shits that want everything in
     abundance, and they don't give a shit about reality.  Keep
     your beast focused on the theme at hand, inject some
     semblance of reality, and try to stay within the bounds of
     the physical laws that govern our universe.  If the beast
     persists, threaten to do your taxes.

     3.  Avoid using "it."  Replace as many "its" as possible
     with descriptive words.  Also, look for the dead words like:
     there, there is, thing, something, them, they.  Replacing
     these words with what they represent brings color to the
     picture you are painting.  And always remember, the personal
     pronouns, his and her, confuse the reader if two or more
     hises or hers are in the same scene.  Only erotica has one
     his and one her.

     4.  Show, don't tell.  A picture is worth a thousand words,
     so paint a picture and conserve band width.  Also, don't try
     to explain or justify everyone's motives or feelings.  The
     beast doesn't really give a shit; besides, actions speak
     louder than words, and action tightens a story.

     5.  Avoid the cataloging of sex acts and focusing on
     numbers.  You can introduce these facts (if they are
     necessary) in dialog or in action scenes.

     6.  Don't change person or perspective.  Either you tell the
     story, or let your main character tell the story.  The
     omniscient viewpoint may make you feel like God, but you
     always end up telling too much because you know too much.
     Second person narratives have no place in erotiporn and
     should be relegated to how-to videos and love letters.

     7.  Try to keep all main characters involved in the story
     until the end.  If you find that the original cast of
     characters has been replaced by a new cast half-way through
     a story, you have two stories.  Two tight pussies are better
     than one big sloppy twat.

     8.  Erotiporn, unlike erotica, is slippery, full of the
     juices of life.  Keep all genitals well lubricated.  Condoms
     have no place in erotiporn unless worn by the husband.

      9.  VD, vaginal discharges, yeast infections, and crabs are
     real-world facts of life that have no business fucking up
     erotiporn unless a wife has them from cheating on her
     husband.

     10.  A pregnancy should NEVER result from the holy union of
     matrimony, but should always result from an unholy coupling
     of persons in the immediate family or of different races and
     generations.  In the world of erotiporn, abortions and birth
     control were outlawed in 1953.  It's true; look it up.

     Note:  If any of these rules hamper your ability to write, fall
back on rule number one.

Phil Phantom

[GEMINIGUY]

I love rule #4. People like to complain about how we write. It's worse if they don't write themselves, but i agree, the beast doesn't give a s#*t.

[pablo]

I wanted to say thanks. These pointers and the input from other writers (especially Geminiguy) and readers really help.

[GEMINIGUY]

Awww... *blushes* You're welcome. I just like being helpful, especially when it comes down to writing.

[Liam Smoot]

This is meaningful to me in that I try and sometimes don't succeed when writing dialog.
Also, a big woo to feverman for helping me find light and space in my writing. 
Nobody likes one big block of print.
Also, to Larissa who took me by the hand last year.  I miss that lady.

[Janet]

I remember reading 7 deadly sins of writing in my highschool creative writing class. great book!

[Cats_Whiskers]

That's a good guide. I've often missed syntax and grammatical errors on re-reads of my text and my greatest faux pas - spelling.

Also the mini-guide post is interesting to me. I'll be sure to utilize it from now on. 

[phtlc]

Excellent link, thanks for posting.

[blkcock69]

Hey, thanks for the post.  I'm new at the writing stuff and don't want to f*** it up by breaking a rule.  No deviation on this board, no sir!  LOL!

[RopeFiend]

I'd like to add an eighth and ninth rule: avoid 'adjective abuse', and don't use highly uncommon words.

I tried proofreading a 20-page sci-fi story: I couldn't finish it.  The wildly excessive use of adjectives made Tolkein look like a rank amateur.  I had to dive for the online dictionary two times in the first 5 pages 'cos he'd used words that were utterly unfamiliar.

Now, let me be clear: I've read a book per week for over 4 decades.  I've read the dictionary... TWICE.  If I have to look it up, you shouldn't use it.  Don't try to awe the reader with your linguistic knowledge; you'll only piss them off. 

There's a difference between painting a picture and detailing every damned leaf.

I finally threw in the towel about half-way through.  He'd lost my attention early on, and it was painful to continue.  Don't be 'that guy' (or gal).  I had NO problem understanding why the story was rejected for publishing.