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Author Topic: Guilt over fantasies..  (Read 5673 times)
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Fanta_C
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« on: May 26, 2011, 12:29:36 PM »

Hi all.

First topic i've started, so here goes.

Am I the only one who has a tremendous amount of guilt over the thoughts and fantasies I have?

I'm a down to earth kind of guy and my life couldn't be happier, but my taboo fantasies do cause me to suffer with bouts of self guilt and depression.

I have never and never would act out my fantasies, but I do go to bed at night thinking that I am wrong and a bad dad for having the thoughts I do.

I have seen a psychotherapist a few years ago which was an education for me, but I didn't feel that I could tell her my darkest secrets, so I never really got the answers I required to get over this. (therefore probably wasting my money)

As hot as my fantasies make me feel, I do wish that I didn't have them.

Regards

Andy

*Sorry to bring the tone down  >Sad
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joan1984
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« Reply #1 on: May 26, 2011, 02:16:37 PM »

Andy, pleased you enjoy KB, and are willing to share your thoughts, fantasies with us here. Think of KB as your therapist, with a hand in her lap, or his lap, or your lap... lol
« Last Edit: May 26, 2011, 02:18:15 PM by joan1984 » Logged

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TinyDancer
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« Reply #2 on: May 26, 2011, 03:55:24 PM »

Been there with those feelings of guilt, still have them at times, but I can only tell you what has helped me.

First off, I think that fantasies are like a safety mechanism, so that we don't act out on them.  Admit to yourself that you will never be free of them because they will always be there in the back of your mind.  Believe it or not, but forums like this one have helped tremendously, being able to read about what other people fantasize about helped me realize that mine weren't so taboo after all.

All humans are sexual, we all have fantasies, you are not unique in that respect, and don't hesitate to enjoy being aroused by yours.

As Joan stated KB is like a therapy, only lots cheaper....don't hesitate to send me a message if you need to vent.   Cheesy

  

« Last Edit: May 26, 2011, 04:12:24 PM by TinyDancer » Logged

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501sGuy
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« Reply #3 on: May 26, 2011, 05:31:40 PM »

I agree with you, fantasies can be very healthy! and as long as you can keep them in check and not let them control you then all is good!!
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pablo
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« Reply #4 on: May 26, 2011, 05:50:44 PM »

Tiny put it well. What has helped me is keeping in mind are a couple simple definitions. We all have desires..something we want to do, and we all have fantasies....things that we only dream about. It's important to keep each in their respective places to keep a good balance in our lives.
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galaxybounce
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« Reply #5 on: May 26, 2011, 06:25:15 PM »

I can totally relate to that idea, even if I don't quite feel guilty for my fantasies. There is definitely a part of my mind that would like me to be more vanilla but then I would question whether that would make sex and sexual fantasy just less fun for me. I think so long as you can keep what you really want (which depending on your fantasy could be anything from keeping your face clean to keeping out of jail) in focus, then you will never have any worries. Your thoughts may sometimes be bordering on disturbing and distressing for you but you can never hurt anyone with what you think, except perhaps yourself. Another thing to remember is that we don't choose our sexual desires and you can't will them away. Better to embrace them and enjoy them in a safe setting, and if you can share them with another consenting adult then all the better.
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ezezsuzie
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« Reply #6 on: May 27, 2011, 12:19:31 AM »

I have guilt too - but not about my fantasies...which all involve forced sex.  I feel guilty about being such a tease - like it is all my fault - that I deserve it whether I like it or not - to be taken and used like a whore
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« Reply #7 on: May 27, 2011, 05:41:15 AM »

That's the best thing you can do is to just enjoy your fantasies here in the KB forums and express yourself openly maybe with a story or two and leave it at that. If you don't want to act them out openly cause they are wrong then do it in a safe way that doesn't make you look bad or send you to prison or what have you. Take me, I enjoy reading stories about incest but I don't act them out openly, I'll read the stories here and just please myself long enough to enjoy that fantasy and I don't feel guilty later on cause I just masturbated to a taboo subject and not act it out and I feel guilt free!
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« Reply #8 on: May 27, 2011, 11:00:13 AM »

OK, we all have sexual fantasies so whatever yours are there is no need to feel guilt, because the Pope has sexual fantasies as do every fire and brimstone preacher telling people they will go to hell. They are part of being human, the only problems occur when some individuals who have violent or abuse led fantasies move on to recreate them in real life.
I believe that being able to play out your fantasies in the safe environment of places like KB is beneficial and probably stops those with abuse or violent fantasies from enacting them in real life
So my advice is, keep on wanking its good for your prostate.
« Last Edit: May 27, 2011, 11:04:49 AM by Grm » Logged
Elizabeth
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« Reply #9 on: May 27, 2011, 02:04:28 PM »

All Of The Above Is Good Advice...
fantasy is just that fantasy (and you seem to recognize that fact).
KB is a great place for fantasy...(safety valve for the brain) and fun for us to read about.
You should do fine here...and like the gang said....WE ALL HAVE DARK FANTASY's.

Love,

Liz

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« Reply #10 on: May 27, 2011, 02:09:56 PM »

Why we humans have two hands, eight fingers and two thumbs:  to enjoy our fantasies safely.   Grin Grin
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« Reply #11 on: May 27, 2011, 05:26:08 PM »

*I* have violent fantasies... they're perfectly all right as long as you have a willing adult partner.  I've even acted a bunch of them out, but it's been a LONG time since I had a gal that wanted to play that way.  Our only limits back then were "nothing visible with clothes on and nothing that takes more than a week to heal."

Do I feel guilty about it?  Not a bit! Cheesy  Even though it was very obviously taboo back in the '70s, there was a HUGE amount of proof in books, movies and TV that a *lot* of people enjoyed the fantasy, so I didn't feel bad about doing it behind closed doors.  The only thing that made me uncomfortable was the daddy/daughter thing, and that solely because I have a strong reaction against pedophiles.  Yet again, as long as it's adults acting it out, there's no issue there.

I wasn't raised Catholic, so 'guilt' was never a controlling force in my upbringing.  My dad only had Playboy magazines (that he thought were hidden), so I could tell that my darker fantasies weren't mainstream.  HER dad had a variety of bondage and S+M porn, so we knew it was acceptable to a smaller group of people.  That gave us the green light to go hog wild.  We did. Wink
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« Reply #12 on: May 28, 2011, 04:35:16 PM »

Thanks for all the replies guys & girls.  I truly apprieciate them  emot_kiss

I think my biggest problem maybe that my taboo fantasies have only taken shape in the last few months, so I guess in time I will accept them and enjoy them without the guilt.

Chat soon.

Andy.
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enchantedpagan012
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« Reply #13 on: June 05, 2011, 02:51:07 PM »

No reason to feel bad. Fantasises are just that something enjoyable to think about and often not something you would ever do. I have my own set that i enjoy with myself, but would never actually act out on.
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Serviceman
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« Reply #14 on: June 06, 2011, 12:42:04 AM »

HI FC;
I trust you will overlook my taking the liberty to send you a PM but your topic is one which struck a kindred thread in me and while there have been some good responses to your thread I've found in the past such replies sometimes tend to be frivolent if not downright insulting.
As a guy I share your uneasiness about my fantasies but as I see it, every human on the planet has them and often a vivid imagination. As one who underwent some basic psychological training in my career I am of the opinion fantasies are a mental safety valve to minimize the probability one acts on them. As for imagination, which are next door to fantasies, consider that all the fictional novels, movie scripts are all produced by humans, like ourselves, with rich imaginations. I think you are perfectly normal, like most of the rest of us. I would love to kneel before a young stud, the younger the better and suck him off until his ball are completely drained. Better still, service his buddies, say about 6 of them, and each of them fuck my ass while I suck whoever is ready.
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