Sex accidents, ouch!

[MintJulie]

First reading it I was thinking 77cm isn't that long.   IT IS 30 INCHES!  wth

I had a friend who worked ER and she had to assist in a cellphone extraction from a female.  This was the mid 90's, so one of those flip phones.  

She was also there when an electric tooth brush went into far and the jabby metal post that holds the interchangable brush on jammed her insides and it was stuck.   The boyfriend tried using tongs to get it out and that got hooked.  So the poor girl comes in with the handle end of tongs sticking out her read end.  


I know a guy that broke his penis.  I don't know all the terminology so I can only describe it as one of the 3 tubes that fill with blood ruptured and his penis got a golf ball sized lump on the side of it.  She describes it as very fast and forceful penetration.  He exited to far and jabbed her between the labia and her thigh and it bent.
Sadly, I didn't get to see the injury.  I even asked for a picture but was denied.  He was told no erections for a month, and no intercourse for 6 months.  The doctor said he could receive oral sex after a month.
It was similar to what is described here.   https://www.menshealth.com/health/what-is-a-penile-fracture
Be careful out there boys.

[Jed_]

That brief grimace just as the tip hits her nose is priceless, but it’s just punishment for her tongue being at least an inch away from the anus she was supposed to be licking.

[biggy7]

Was recently discussing similar events with a nurse friend of mine who said one of the oddest he'd experienced was a patient who could no longer go to the toilet as he'd been pushing BluTak (I think similar would be power tak in the US) down his penis which after a while had filled up and got stuck. When asked why, he said because his friends were using slugs and he didn't want to do that... seems obvious when you hear it.

[ObiDongKenobi]

............
I know a guy that broke his penis.  I don't know all the terminology so I can only describe it as one of the 3 tubes that fill with blood ruptured and his penis got a golf ball sized lump on the side of it.  She describes it as very fast and forceful penetration.  He exited to far and jabbed her between the labia and her thigh and it bent.
Sadly, I didn't get to see the injury.  I even asked for a picture but was denied.  He was told no erections for a month, and no intercourse for 6 months.  The doctor said he could receive oral sex after a month.
.............
Be careful out there boys.

What, no KB for a month

[Cucker Tarlson]

Fucked a hole in a waterbed once.... What a mess!

My cousin-wife came home from work and asked me if I'd been fucking the bed, but I just sorta gave her one of those looks. She didn't ask me anymore stupid questions.

[JBRG]

Several years ago, Mrs JBRG came downstairs after her shower and said she needed to go to emergency. I asked why and she responded that she could not get her "kegel exercise" device out of her vagina. It would seem that in her desire to have some desire and lubrication she went out and purchased some Ben Wa balls. She had inserted them and when she was taking them out, the "extraction cord" broke. Oh boy. Talk about embarassment.

And, no. I didn't get laid that night.

[_priapism]

My ex called me, and asked me to come over.  I did. She said that she had sex the night before with a new lover, and the condom had come off during intercourse.

“I can feel it up there, but I can’t reach it. I’m too embarrassed to go to the doctor. Can you try to take it out?””

“Well get on the bed and spread ‘em.” I washed my hands and got some KY. My ex lay down, invitingly spread, her well fucked pussy still dripping cum.

I took my time (who wouldn’t?), fishing around in her nether regions. I could have removed it in a minute or less. But by the time I pulled the trespasser out, she was panting and swollen, on the edge of an orgasm.

I pulled my hard cock out and fucked her roughly.  “Such a nasty whore, fucking two men on the same morning!” She gasped and had a good cum while I pounded her.  I grunted and added my seed to the stranger’s.

[Clitical Thinking]

 

Toe cranking the naughty to 11 

[Jed_]

[Asmodel]

Toe cranking the naughty to 11 

11?




Also, poor Walden !!,