Sorry for the delay in posting. Yesterday was the last day of the quarter and it was a busy day for our firm.
Good catch on the “service” aspect, Lari; I missed that entirely. Ironically, that’s the precise reason I hired her. She is accommodating without being obsequious, and she has a quality I value: anticipation. She is great at figuring out what people will need in a situation and providing it before it’s needed and without being asked. Plus, her secretarial skills are great.
About the event in question, yeah, the towel was a wonderful touch. It turned the encounter from outstanding to extraordinary. It blew my mind (and that’s not all!).
Lord, I would love to return the favor. The girl who taught me to eat pussy was bi and, from what I’m told, she did a good job. And I never even wrote to thank her …
Ric9009, No need to be sorry that you think I’m nuts. You post reminds me of the Microsoft help desk: the advice is often absolutely accurate but completely unhelpful in the present situation. It’s like telling a man he should not have stepped in front of that bus after he’s already laying in the street. Knowing what I should have done is of no help now; it’s only shooting where the rabbit was.
There is much truth in what you say, of course. A good rule for everyone might be, “Do not mix sex and work.” That would mean no sex with employees, peers, superiors, customers, suppliers, job applicants, or anyone else one might know through work. (The rule should apply to liquor, too.)
But sex at work happens. Sometimes we live to regret it, other times we don’t. Any deviation from a rule nixing sex and work involves taking a risk. In this case, I think that risk is low and manageable. Almost a week later it appears that she has no regrets; I may have more than she does.
A sexual harassment complaint would probably have very little impact on us in our marketplace. We work mainly with CEOs and CFOs; their concern is their money, not others’ sexual involvements. As long as we make money for them, they’re happy.
By the way, sexual harassment claims do have to have some evidentiary basis. Otherwise, people could just go around leveling accusations and collecting financial settlements. Often the evidence is circumstantial, though.
If I were ever involved in a sexual harassment complaint over an incident like this, my reaction would be, “Go for it: sue.” The complainant would talk to a lawyer, who will realize she has no money and scant evidence and tell her to drop it. As I said, I doubt that will happen in this case.
In the present situation, an open relationship might be worse than a one-off blowjob due to our age difference (at this time, at least). It might give the impression that she is a slut and I am a Sugar Daddy. In the best case, that could lead to nasty gossip. In the worst case, if the relationship did not work out, the potential fallout from an acrimonious breakup could be ugly.
I have faced situations similar to the one you describe, Ric9009. In one case, a female subordinate had a few too many drinks and wanted me to screw her. Worse, we were hosting a seminar at a hotel and had to stay overnight. She would not leave my room. Yet she was having some major psychological issues and having sex with her would have been exploitative and wrong. I let her sleep in my room and I fell asleep on the sofa.
The next morning she was sober, embarrassed, and apologetic. I was sympathetic and tried to let her know that her value to me was between her ears, not between her thighs (not in those words, of course). We put the matter behind us and became closer colleagues than we had been before.
The question stands: what should I do now? In puckish and randy moments I say, “Go for it!” In more rational moments I say, “It happened; don’t let it happen again.” I think I’ll play it cool for now and see what happens.