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The Corporate Life (FF, Sed, 1st, Cheat)

Shiela_M · 2235

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Online Shiela_M

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on: October 25, 2023, 08:01:54 PM

Sheila hated these parties.

It wasn’t always this way. When they started, she felt like a princess at a ball. So many people well dressed and well mannered. One would expect the snooty type or the ditsy trophy wife bimbo, but everybody was intelligent, polite, and well mannered. She fit in well and made many friends, and even though these parties were a great place to socialize, she still despised them. They were a reminder of what she was losing.

She gave her husband a sideways glance. They had married young. She never felt they rushed in as the love she felt for him was indescribable. Yet now it was fading. He was and still is very smart, and very handsome, but the focus of them was replaced by the focus of his career. He was a phenomenal provider, and she was never left wanting or needing daily necessities, but their passion was fading, and her emotional needs were screaming for attention.

Material objects were only so good, but she desperately needed more from the man she loved. Too many times, she researched divorce lawyers, but before she ever made the call, he would show up with flowers, sweet words of apology for not paying her more attention, and then he would become the man she had fallen head over heels for. They would be intimate and the world of his work and career disappeared from existence. They were young and completely in love again. It was always only temporary.

She said her hellos to the people she had befriended over the past two years. They were like her. Dressed to impress, and decorated in baubles of beauty. They themselves seemed like decorations, yet the people they were under all the paint, glitz, and glam showed they were all strong and if need be, very independent. they enjoyed the life of luxury, and found a happy medium. Perhaps since their husbands were in a stable place, so were they.

She gave her husband a kiss on the cheek and watched as he walked off towards a group of men dressed in high end suits, holding cigars and laughing loudly through the haze of smoke. She hated seeing him leave her and walk away so easily. She wanted to stay with him, hold his arms and walk through that smoky battlefield of men fighting for every foothold they could get within the company. She could have gone with him, but tonight was important. she had learned that when the men talked their profession, the women had their own social activities. She loved a lot of these women and appreciated them. they helped her through a lot when she started feeling the loss. They had been where she is, and said it would get better. She failed to see how?

She spoke well with her friends of neglect, when a slight ruckus brought her head around to the men. They all looked in the same direction. She made quick eye contact with her husband who looked nervous for the first time in a long time. He looked away in the same direction as everybody else, and her eyes followed.

They were a beautiful couple. He was tall, well tanned, with a head of salt and pepper, and a well groomed beard of the same taste. His suit was of the highest cute made from fabric that flowed around his body without clinging. A broad smile held his face as his wife held his arm. She was a statuesque woman with a look of experience and knowledge held up by an unquestionable beauty. It was all but impossible to guess her age. Her hair of greying streaks told of years of experience but her face and natural untouched beauty showed youth and a spirit that will never slow down. Her sleek black dress hugged her form magically and held up by two small spaghetti straps. Sheila had been called beautiful by many, and she never thought herself unpleasant looking, but this woman made her think of herself of nothing more than a clump of dirt.

Looking at the man, he began shaking hands, and clapping men on shoulders with a loud greeting of familiarity. She glanced to her own husband who paid her no mind at all and nervously rubbed the palms of his hands against his suit. She wanted to go to him. Needed it. Nearly stepped towards him when she heard her name being called from behind her by a dear friend. Time for proper Introductions. She knew what needed doing. She knew she needed this woman’s ear and to talk her husband up. The spouse of the man in charge of it all would be a perfect ally in getting her beloved husband more notice. Extending a hand she began to speak when this force of a woman raised a hand before her mouth and stopped any words from escaping. 

“Before you say a word, my dear, my name is Diane, and it is a great pleasure to finally meet you. I already know what you want to say, what you want to talk about, and there is nothing you can put to words that I have not heard before,” Sheila’s teeth clicked shut audibly, and waited. “We all gather here so our men can puff out their chests and pump their fists and gloat about their achievements. let the men do men things. We will relax, share some wine, and enjoy a night of class, pleasant conversation, and who know, maybe share a bit of sass.”

Fits of laughter rolled around the group of women. Honest, genuine laughter. knowing there was so much to do, to say, but there was no denying that Diane would have none of it. Picking up her freshly filled glass, she lifted it for this powerful woman’s toast, and took a sip.

Minutes passed. Glasses emptied and filled. Chatter and laughter was plentiful for all. The final sip of a crystal clear glass and she turned to check on her beloved but found her view blocked by what quickly became a familiar and very beautiful smile. Ample breasts hidden by the low neckline of a perfectly fitted dress. Slow, hesitantly, her eyes traced up a slender neck and around a sharp jaw to thin lips and smile. This woman’s beauty, unmistaken and near unbelievable. Her eyes sharp and green pieced deep and felt as if they could see all secrets.

“Sheila, is it?.” she spoke calm but direct and without waiting for an answer continued, “would you be ever so kind and follow me please”?

Before being able to even move her lips to reply, Diane turned and started away. Glances to the left and right showed women of indifference and no guidance or encouragement, all save one. The single woman looked her in the eye and with a subtle flick of her fingers, directed her to follow. With a quick glance at her recently emptied glass, wishing for one more swallow of wine, she followed Diane out of the room and down corridors not meant for public view. No words were spoken as she followed this force of nature. Even when she appeared as nothing more than a simple silhouette before rounding a corner, she was a woman to be followed. Obeyed even.

The halls slowly became bleak, and the rooms dark and dirty. The further they walked the more desolate and decrepit everything became. Walking into a large open room the musky old smell of dirt and dust filled her nose. Scattered throughout the rooms and halls were spotlights creating large pools of light here and there. Shiny metal sheets were leaned against walls what seemed randomly, but it didn’t take long to realize they were there to reflex light into other areas to save from needing more spotlights.

She wanted to sneeze, and cough whatever was in her mouth and nose. She wiped her face with the back of her hand and looked around to see nothing more than the appearance of rot and slow destruction of time. The building was crumbling and filled with the absence of people and care. A quick look to her right showed Diane walking around another corner into darkness. Following as she had before, she wondered why they were in such a desolate place, and where she would end up next.

Rounding the corner, brought her looking directly at a smiling Diane, who stood at the other end of the room with hand on hip in a nonchalant manner. It took a few moments for her to figure out where she was.  Dirty and cracked sinks lined the wall to her right, while stalls were on the back left wall to Diane’s right. It was when she saw the crumbling urinals to her left that she realized where she was. Of all places to lead her why a disgusting, broken men’s lavatory?

Hesitantly Sheila stepped deeper into the disintegrating room. Her heels echoed loudly, louder than she remembered them being during this entire venture. At her third step Diane started walking towards her, hand still on hip, but she began to scan the room and motion with her free hand at the dirty walls and broken fixtures.

“I bet you are wondering why I’ve brought you to this place.” Her voice carried around the room even though she spoke softly.

Sheila took a slow breath wondering what to say, but before a thought could form, Diane continued, “My husband is a wonderful man, and a very good businessman. However, he gets a bit carried away with work, a bit to focused on the job, and he can become distracted from things that are really truly important.”

These words felt as if Sheila herself was talking about her own husband, yet Diane continued. “He forgets that people are what makes everything move in his world, and he should show appreciation for these people. He is one of the countries most noted philanthropists for all the good he does for, charities, outreach programs, and for just people in general.”

Diane slowly walked around the room sometimes brushing her fingers across a dirty sink, or moving a piece of broken porcelain with the toe of her strapped pump.

Sheila said nothing knowing full well Diane was not done. “the truth is, all those things are not my husbands doing. They are mine.”

Sheila swallowed and cleared her throat trying to listen and trying to figure out what the whole point of this was. Diane heard this and stopped focusing on the room and laid her gaze on Sheila. Her voice became less formal and softened. A beautiful smile spreading across her face.

“I love helping people, and making things new and beautiful again,” there was a sense of our joy as she spoke, “He has the resources, and I have the passion and together we have changed lives. This room, this building is my next project, and the whole reason for this party.”

Diane made her way towards Sheila , their eyes locked on each others, “I live to take things that have been broken, damaged, forgotten, and neglected, and bring new life to it, make it beautiful and show that it isn’t alone, it isn’t over, and their can be love and joy still brought to it.”

Sheila would have had to have been the biggest fool to think Diane was talking about the building, or at least not just the building. Her whole speech was an echo of what Sheila wanted. Happiness and a joy for life.

“I know first hand what you’re going through right now, and I’ve seen it with nearly every woman you’ve befriended over the years, and I want you to know that it wont be like this forever. You will have tough days ahead, and it will be quite a while before those days become a bad memory, but I can see you love your husband.” Diane stopped right in front of Sheila. They were close, so close Sheila could nearly feel Diane’s breath. “These lonely days are the days we wives rely on each other.”

Silence filled the dirty men’s room and Sheila realized Diane awaited a response. “Y-yes, of course. I completely agree, and all of them have helped me with everything.”

Diane smiled at her, the scattered reflected light on her eyes made them seem to sparkle like gemstones. She leaned in a little more and whispered, “Not everything.”

They stared at each other for a brief moment and when Diane saw realization expressed on her face, Diane turned an walked away slowly. Still with that smile.

“Diane. Um, I mean Mrs. R…” Sheila began to say when she was gently interrupted.

“Shush please,” She began, “once again I can tell you, there is nothing here that you can say that hasn’t already been in my ear. I know the exact words you’re going to say, but let me say this. You followed me here of your own free will, hoping possibly expecting to get something out of me. If you were to turn and leave here, I promise you nothing bad will happen with you or your husband. No repercussions at all. However, I see what being associated with this company, as you are, is doing to you, your mental health and happiness. You came here looking for something. I’m just offering something I feel you absolutely need, and I believe you know you need it, but are afraid of it.”

Sheila stood mouth hanging open in shock as she watched the other woman smoothly stride to a spot and turn to face her. Her eyes grew bigger as Diane reached up and slid one, and then the other thin strap off her shoulders. The dress that hugged her body perfectly slid down the length of her and fell to the floor. Diane then resumed her initial pose of hand on hip, completely exposed. It was obvious she wore no bra, but the lack of panties was a shock.

*To Be Continued
« Last Edit: December 08, 2023, 07:51:37 PM by Shiela_M »



Offline msslave

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Reply #1 on: October 28, 2023, 04:51:47 AM
Virtual WOO as I already gave you one today. This is a masterpiece. One of the best you've ever done. You set the stage and the characters so clearly.

I see where you are having trouble with the transition. It's no doubt hard to start a sex scene in a dirty broken toilet. I'm sure you'll find a way out of it and continue to build on this wonderful start. How about a hidden lavish bedroom the lady has had secretly hidden away. Just a thought.

Solder on it's great. All I can add is ... good girl. ;D :emot_kiss:

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville


Online Shiela_M

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Reply #2 on: October 28, 2023, 05:33:55 PM
Thank you love :emot_kiss:
And then Thank You again.😘

MissB gave me a phenomenal way to proceed. It has been a lot easier finding that path.



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Reply #3 on: November 04, 2023, 11:54:07 PM
I wrote it out, and then edited, and edited again. I'm going to end up editing it until it's a whole new story.

I hope I didn't ruin it.



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Reply #4 on: November 04, 2023, 11:54:50 PM
Overwhelmed, Sheila tried to form a sentence in her head, yet nothing was making sense to her. Nothing in her head, and nothing about this night was easy to put together. None of it seemed real. She didn’t even catch herself from looking Diane up and down in the bizarre light being reflected around the room.

Diane said nothing, just stood back straight and shoulders back. An aura of confidence surrounded her. Even standing in nothing but her jewelry, heels, and skin, she held a dignified elegance. Her body, as her face, defied the effects of age. Her skin seemed to glow with what light hit her. Her legs and butt would have been just as attractive without the assistance of heels. Her breasts somehow ignored the effects of gravity. Sheila had been a swimmer all her life and it showed, yet Diane made her feel out of shape.

“Uh… Mrs. Row…” Sheila started to timidly form words out of her jumble of thoughts.

“Diane"

“Um..”

“I think considering the situation,” Diane said with heartwarming mirth in her voice, “I believe we can skip formality.”

“Right, yes. Uh.. Diane, I’m not.. you know... I can’t just...” Sheila started feeling a bit light headed trying to figure her way about this.

“I know.” Diane said, “you’re not a lesbian, and to an extend, neither am I, and your married, and don’t want to cheat, yet I stand before you a very happily married woman. I am not trying to force you to do anything. As I said, if you turn and leave, I will not feel the least bit slighted. I'll just try to be there for you in other ways like all those other women. As I’ve said, I live to make things new again. To bring the joy of life to what has been forgotten, if even temporarily. I want to help, and this is how I feel I can.”

Sheila didn’t move as Diane started stepping towards her. She watched her intently as she moved. Thoughts of lonely nights reading erotica and watching adult movies played quickly through her head. Situations such as this laid out in pages and shown in video. Words mentioning one as predator and one as prey. Women claiming to feel as if they were being hunted. Was Sheila being hunted now? Was she Diane’s prey?

No! Not prey. The look on Diane’s face gave off a much more caring and pure look. She did not have the look of a hunter prowling, ready to devour. She had a look of a nurturer looking to heal, and relieve the stresses of the world. This is not one of those silly stories or dirty movies, Sheila didn’t feel like prey. More like a lost and lonely puppy, and Diane was yearning to help.

Diane stopped in front of Sheila where she had been before. So very close. Sheila battled with her own emotions. Morals battled with want. Faithfulness fought with physical desire. She felt near tears with confusion and fear.

Diane seen it and raised a hand, resting it to the side of Sheila’s face. The moment they touched, the warmth of her soft hand, Sheila closed her eyes and was reminded just how long it’s been since she felt this type of warmth. Not just the physical. The affection under the flesh. She couldn’t stop herself from leaning into that touch. Even if she could, she wouldn’t have wanted to.

Sheila opened her eyes to see Diane smiling at her reaction. She returned the smile with slight embarrassment. Diane moved ever closer. Bodies nearly touching. She was taller than Sheila but never once appeared to look down at her. Even with chin held high, Diane regarded her as an equal. Humble, kind, and attractive through and through.

“Sheila, you are not alone. You may feel it, but you’re never alone. We are all but a call away.” Diane spoke soft but it still carried weight. “it is not my place to say who does what and who does not, but believe me when I say, you don’t have to spend time feeling lonely. Your physical needs do not need to be neglected.”

There was no doubt in Sheila’s mind that she was not the first to follow this woman. Not the first to stand before her as she is now. Faces of her friends rolled through her thoughts. Women who nearly worship their husbands. How many stood here? How many stand here still? How many needed it as she does now.

Diane searched her eyes. Reading. As if looking for answers Sheila herself needed. All either would find was continued conflict. He husband stood out in her mind. Then the idea of being with a woman. Two heavy lines to cross that had never existed to her before today.

Diane must have seen it. Sensed it. She raised her other hand and laid it across the other cheek. Warmth of flesh and compassion swam in Sheila’s head as she laid her hands on Diane’s wrists. Not gripping. Not holding. Just feeling through her own touch.

“Diane… I’m…” why can’t she say it? “I don't…I can… not…”

Diane true to her words, still smiling, understanding, began pulling her hands away.

That warmth began leaving.

Everything changed!

Now Sheila grabbed on. Held on to it.

That one small reaction had Diane shift in motion. Stopped moving away and came closer. Their lips a heartbeat away. Eyes closed. Sheila waiting for what never came. Diane had stopped. She too waited. Not going to force her. Made it her choice.

She chose.

Her lips touch soft wondrous warmth as she closed the gap. The breath she didn’t know she was holding rushed out her lungs and out her nose. A quick kiss. Separating they searched each other’s eyes. Sheila smiled and closed the gap again. This kiss did not end. Lips never separated. It morphed. Lips dancing with each other. Mouths began opening. Sheila closed hers over Diane’s lower lip, and then went for more. She missed this passion so much. She moved her hands up Diane’s arms and around her shoulders. Pulled herself into her. Kissed her deeper. More assertive. Hungry.

Diane moved her hands to Sheila’s chest and gently pushed her away. She smiled again. “Not like that. Don’t lose yourself.”

Sheila was shocked. She had become the aggressor. Forceful. What was happening?

Diane moved her hands and leaned into Sheila again. Mutually they met. Kissed. Slower better.

Sheila submerged herself in the other woman’s lips. They got deeper again but remained controlled. She was thrilled by this, and savored every bit of it. They wrapped their arms around each other. Bodies held tight together. Sharing the same space. The same breath.

Sheila’s husband no longer stood in the forefront of her thoughts. He had taken a seat in the back of her mind. Sat in a thrown with his cigars and brandy. Sat and watched.

Diane’s lips felt like nothing she had felt before. So very soft. Their tongues met occasionally. As great at these felt, it didn't distract from the hand moving down her back. The slack growing in her dress as the zipped slid down. When it reached the end, she dropped her arms so the fabric could fall to the floor. Discarded as Diane had done before.

She held Diane again. Bodies coming together once more. Sheila’s erect nipples pressed to warm flesh, and she shuddered and moaned gently into Diane’s mouth. Breasts against breasts. She moved her body slightly to feel skin move on skin. Slid across each other. They moved against and with each other. Sheila found herself enjoying the feeling of Diane’s nipples again her chest, just slightly above her own.

Diane moved and kissed her cheek, then jaw, moved down her neck and to her collarbone. Ever so slowly laid kisses across the top of her chest and then down her breastbone. Hands slid slowly down her back and move around her ribs. She knew it was coming and she ached for it. Her nerves peaking in anticipation in her nipples.

She did not have to wait long. No teasing or playing. Diane cupped her breasts and laid tongue to her right nipple. They moaned together. The warm suckling and kissing. The vibration of the moan struck her pleasure center like a hammer. Diane switched to the other, yet she did not forget the first one. Her hands and fingers found it. Toyed with it. Massaged and pinch it.

Sheila was living it as best she could yet she had not been aware they had moved. Her back touched crumbling walls and she could feel cracks and edges in the broken room. It was but a small distraction from the wonders Diane was doing.

She moved on from Sheila’s breast and kissed her way down her abdomen. Her hands constantly moving. Caressing. Diane squatting before her, kissed over the her last remain bit of decency.

Unlike Diane, Sheila wore panties. Lacy thing that left no line to her dress. Hoping to be pretty wrapping to a present for her husband after a successful night. In the back of her mind he smiled in approval. She was completely aware of their current dampened state. She had not been this turned on in a while.

Diane’s hands moved over the thin band at her hips, and then down her thighs. Diane looked up and they locked eyes. Hands slid up and worked under the garment at the hips. Diane slid them down as soon as she had control of then. Sheila felt the damp garment peel away from her, and slowly slide down her legs.

Diane broke eye contact to help her step free of the useless cloth and looked at what she just uncovered. “So beautiful.”

Hands moved to the inside of Sheila’s legs and up. Her legs separated. Her pelvis pushed forward. Wanting those lovely lips against her flesh again. Those kisses that left her panting and tingling. That tongue that played so well in her mouth. She craved it.

Diane kissed her hips and pelvis. She moved ever closer, the only time she seemed to tease.

It did not last long.

Diane laid her mouth on her. The heat shot up her spine and sent her nerves alight. The moan that escaped her lips did not do the sensation justice. Too long she had gone without such a delicious feeling.

Diane’s tongue moved and drew out another moan from deep in her body. Her head rocked back and cause some of the wall to crack and crumble. She paid it no mind. At that moment her entire world laid on the tip of Diane’s tongue.

It was wonderful, yet so very different. Different was good. Not what she was used to yet so much better.

It was obvious Diane was enjoying what she was doing. Savoring every bit of what she did. She was not racing to reach a goal. Not trying to get her to that finish line like some sort of challenge. She took her time to drawing pleasure out. Urging it forward instead of pulling it. Getting pleasure from pleasing. Every motion of her tongue, every kiss, and slight suckle was just what Sheila wanted before she even knew she wanted it. Her body moving with and for Diane.

Hands never stopped moving across her skin. Sliding, massaging, groping, tickling, and scratching. Across the belly. Over her breasts. Down her legs. Brushing her hips and butt. Never stopping long enough to get bored. Not ignore anything they could reach. Diane’s mouth moved against her sex in symphony with those hands. Complimenting and accentuating.

Everything Diane did was nothing short of divine. Her tongue moved with skill and Sheila responded. She could almost feel Diane’s smile pressed against her. They moaned together and whispers of attempted words filled the otherwise quiet room. Sheila pushed her pelvis forward urging for more but pulled back not wanting to rush.

Diane pulled her mouth away, replacing it with her hand. Through barely open eyes Sheila saw her look up, smile and joyful laughter bubbled up from Diane as she saw Sheila’s reactions. Her fingers felt nearly as good as her mouth, and moved just as expertly against her body. Sheila leaned to her left, her right foot lifting off the floor. Pleasure and balance threatened to become enemies until Sheila’s left hand and right foot found sturdy enough surfaces. Her left foot stayed on the ground. Diane slowed but did not stop until Sheila was stable.

The new position gave room for both mouth and hand, and no hesitation was given before both were used. Sheila cursed quietly as the pleasure doubled. Diane’s fingers slid to and fro pressing where it counted as her mouth and tongue swirled and danced. Careful of her nails Diane did not venture inside. No more than her flat fingertip would allow.

Sheila gave a quick glance to what supported her. She found her hand in the bottom of a filthy urinal. No need to look to know her foot rested upon another. Any other day, it would have been beyond wrong. Repulsive. Dirty, broken, disgusting room surrounded them, but Diane made it all superfluous. None of it mattered. Only them.
Sheila’s gasps and moans grew louder and the sound of heavy panting bounced around the room. Her breath caught when Diane’s finger moved farther back and pressed firmly against her back side. The sensation was completely new yet very welcomed. Sheila groped her own breast while Diane's free hand continued it’s travels around her now sweaty body. So much pleasure filled her. So much joy. So much life. Nearing too much, and then it was there.

She reached her limit. Cold lightning erupted from her core and coursed through her body. She convulsed and shook. Every fiber of her tried to contract and relax at the same time. There was nothing left of her except rolling wave after wave of uncontrolled ecstasy. She felt softness against her lips and warmth on her back. Her head went light and she could not make any sense of anything going on around her.

Time did not exist until she opened her eyes. She half expected to be on the dirty floor, but found herself pressed against the wall. Diane held her. Embraced her. Their lips locked together sharing the same breath. Sheila wrapped her arms around Diane. Returned the passionate kiss. She could taste herself on the woman’s lips. This was better than great. It was fucking intoxicating.

Stability returned to her legs. One more quick kiss and Diane increased space between them. Sheila giggled which turned to laughter with absolute joy. A joy she had not felt for nearly two years. Diane had accomplished her goal. She brought new life to Sheila, and new perspective. There was no room for guilt, if anything she felt more love for her husband. She couldn’t explain it but some things need not explaining. It was there and it was real. How or why did not matter.

Sheila’s laughter began to calm down when she realized that she may need to return the gift Diane just gave her. Before she could think too much on it or ask Diane stepped away. Still moving with grace, she gathered both their dresses and returned to Sheila.

“I believe it is time we head back to everybody.” Diane said as she stepped into her dress. “We wouldn’t want to miss anything important.”

She watched, unsure, as Diane got dressed and the woman took notice. “Ah, yes. That look.” She paused to take one of Sheila’s hands. “You worry you need to do the same for me? But I promise you that my pleasure came from seeing you, feeling you, enjoy my efforts. Now, hurry and get dressed.”

Sheila stepped into her dress and pulled it up. Diane helped slide her arms in, and then zipped it up. They took turns looking over each other’s jewelry and makeup. Making sure nothing is too out of place. Small things didn’t matter. The ladies would know why there is a slight mess, the men wouldn’t notice enough to ask. Sheila found herself wondering if any of Diane’s lipstick was left on her. What would her husband say if he saw it there. Surprisingly the thought made her smile.

Diane took her by the hand and together they headed back to the party. A party she no longer hated. She left her broken self in the dirty broke room. She felt like a new woman. Free from so much. She left her fear in that room, the uncertainty of her future, and her panties.
« Last Edit: January 02, 2024, 06:07:21 PM by Shiela_M »



Offline MintJulie

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Reply #5 on: November 05, 2023, 03:05:59 AM
LOVED reading this. From a woman that has not had a same sex experience, you wrote that chapter so beautifully.  Woo 2522

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Reply #6 on: November 05, 2023, 03:20:37 AM
Thank goodness. I'm really glad you liked it. I thought for sure I had screwed it up with the constant editing.

I have to thank Barb for helping me out with transitioning. Her idea helped me get it all together.



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Reply #7 on: November 05, 2023, 03:36:08 AM
I meant to add to my comment above, I hope there is future chapters to this story. 

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Offline msslave

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Reply #8 on: November 05, 2023, 01:57:54 PM
OMG! First off WOO #2523
 
That was a masterfully crafted piece of erotica. As Jules said, it's, hard is believe that if you hadn't lived some of this, you at least lolhave thought about it.

The writing is not only some of the best work I've seen you do,(editing does pay off) it's right up there with fine literature I've read. You've struck a new vein of creativity. There's something new that's opened up for you.

No, I'm not talking about how well you depicted the same sex encounter, Jules covered that. It's the word pictures you painted as the story progressed. All so vivid and  brought so completely to life.

This story is complete as it stands. More would be welcome of course. One of the best reads in a long time. Wish I could abuse my WOOs. :emot_kiss:
« Last Edit: November 05, 2023, 02:01:09 PM by msslave »

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville


Online Shiela_M

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Reply #9 on: November 05, 2023, 02:05:38 PM
Oh my God, thank you Bob. Was the most effort I put into a story.

I hadn't really thought about adding to it, the reason I wrote this was because of an image MissB posted. It just kept playing out in my head. I was going to attach a link to it, but unfortunately imgur took it down.

I guess if I see an image that inspires more, I'll add more as long as I'm able to keep it true to itself.



Offline MissBarbara

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Reply #10 on: January 03, 2024, 04:22:58 PM
Sorry for the delayed response! I have some tech issues, which Vela helped me resolve.

I think the transition from the first part to the second part is perfect.

While I'm not much of an erotic story writer, I always have a hard time moving from the set up to the point where the characters physically engage. You nailed it, especially the emotional aspects. That's what really makes the second part work.

The sex itself -- and the erotic response -- is very realistic. I mean, very, very realistic. I don't want to make this all about me, but I find that a lot of erotic fiction involving two women fails because both the sex itself and the erotic responses of the participants are unrealistic. It often reads like the script to a porn film with a "lesbian scene," and the women act and respond as they do in porn world, and not in the real world.

Over and above that, Part 2 is very well written, especially the descriptions. I especially appreciated lines like:

"She did not have the look of a hunter prowling, ready to devour. She had a look of a nurturer looking to heal, and relieve the stresses of the world."

"She moved her body slightly to feel skin move on skin."

"The heat shot up her spine and sent her nerves alight. The moan that escaped her lips did not do the sensation justice. Too long she had gone without such a delicious feeling."

And my favorite line:

"It was obvious Diane was enjoying what she was doing. Savoring every bit of what she did. She was not racing to reach a goal. Not trying to get her to that finish line like some sort of challenge. She took her time to drawing pleasure out. Urging it forward instead of pulling it. Getting pleasure from pleasing. Every motion of her tongue, every kiss, and slight suckle was just what Sheila wanted before she even knew she wanted it."

I think what makes it work best is the fact that you kept the story true to itself, and true to yourself. In that aspect, it's a 100% success.






"Sometimes the best things in life are a hot girl and a cold beer."



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Reply #11 on: January 03, 2024, 06:26:44 PM
All I can say is thank you, and Woo!
My face is burning!

Other than that, I'm speechless by this. Thank you, thank you, Thank you!!

Thank you for the inspiration for the story!

Thank you for your advice which helped immensely!

And thank you for reading and your compliments.



Offline Averimom19

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Reply #12 on: July 15, 2024, 12:20:26 AM
Wow love this story.  I really like the idea of slipping away and making a magical secret with someone. Very well written.