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So who got laid last night?

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Offline Katiebee

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Reply #220 on: October 15, 2018, 08:23:37 PM
It’s not the same.

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.

IdleBoast

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Reply #221 on: October 16, 2018, 12:20:09 AM
I've never paid for sex. Nothing against it, just not my scene.

There are four people in the world I would be unfaithful with. Three know it. One is willing, but on the wrong continent. One was wise enough to turn me down and stay friends. One is on the same wavelength as me, but unable to go beyond communication. The fourth doesn't know, and would probably turn me down flat anyway.


psiberzerker

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Reply #222 on: October 16, 2018, 09:59:36 AM
Quote from: IdleBoast on October 16, 2018, 12:20:09 AM
I've never paid for sex. Nothing against it, just not my scene.

Yes, but have you gotten laid in the last 24 hours?

I just got off, work.


IdleBoast

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Reply #223 on: October 16, 2018, 10:33:47 AM
Haha, thanks, but no.

I know you think "it's just sex", but I need an emotional link before I got that intimate. I've never even had a one-night stand.


ChirpingGirl

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Reply #224 on: October 16, 2018, 02:37:26 PM
CJ could happily fuck a stranger and discard them when done.  :D


Offline Dirtymind

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Reply #225 on: October 16, 2018, 04:03:53 PM
Quote from: ChirpingGirl on October 16, 2018, 02:37:26 PM
CJ could happily fuck a stranger and discard them when done.  :D

Is it my imagination, or does Chirp seem to get laid more than the rest of us combined?  ;D


Offline MintJulie

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Reply #226 on: October 16, 2018, 04:07:41 PM

Definitely not your imagination.  hahaha

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Offline Jed_

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Reply #227 on: October 16, 2018, 04:32:08 PM
This morning before I left for work.  I can’t recall the last time I had morning sex before work.

My face was mashed you can guess where, and right when she began writhing and moaning out comes a cute little fart.  I stopped what I was doing and asked, “Really?”  She apologized with “Baby I’m sorry,” but then started laughing.  I resumed what I was doing, but her laughter was infectious and got me laughing too.  Eventually I moved up while she was still laughing.  And then a poke and the laughter abruptly stopped with a “Oooooooohhhhhhhh!!”

She made me a sandwich, and when I got to work I found she had written on the sandwich bag in marker, ‘I love you.’  I’m at work now, and she’s at my house ironing my shirts, hand washing my sweaters and cleaning my house.  Now that’s sexy.


Offline MintJulie

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Reply #228 on: October 16, 2018, 04:37:59 PM
Quote from: Jed_ on October 16, 2018, 04:32:08 PM
This morning before I left for work.  I can’t recall the last time I had morning sex before work.

My face was mashed you can guess where, and right when she began writhing and moaning out comes a cute little fart. 

Guilty. 

And aren't all women's stinkers (I don't use that f word either) cute!


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Offline Jed_

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Reply #229 on: October 16, 2018, 06:38:43 PM
Well men are really just little boys, and all little boys think farts are are funny (fucking funny to cover the f words you won’t use).  They’re even funnier when you girls do them by accident in just such embarrassing circumstances.

A comedian once said you girls know the romance is over when he not only does it in bed, but he pushes your head under the covers to smell.  At least I’m still at the stage where I get up, go to the bathroom to let it go, and then yell ‘Excuse me!’


ChirpingGirl

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Reply #230 on: October 16, 2018, 07:46:29 PM
Quote from: Johnny on October 16, 2018, 04:03:53 PM
Quote from: ChirpingGirl on October 16, 2018, 02:37:26 PM
CJ could happily fuck a stranger and discard them when done.  :D

Is it my imagination, or does Chirp seem to get laid more than the rest of us combined?  ;D

CJ gets very sick of it some times.  :roll:


psiberzerker

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Reply #231 on: October 16, 2018, 08:00:19 PM
I prefer the word "Poot."  I know, it's childish.  I'd argue appropriately so.

Thank you, Jed.  I just wrote a short that brought me to tears, had a good cry, then came back to read about you.  Felt flattus on your face, then closing the door to bust a grumpy, and yell "EXCUSE ME!"

I really needed that laugh, and I'm still giggling.


Offline Jed_

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Reply #232 on: October 16, 2018, 09:55:54 PM
Next time I go down on her I’ll probably ask if she feels any pending gas.  Not because I really care, but it will make her laugh.  And, I love making her laugh.

Wait, maybe I’ll poke a finger in there and tell her it’s to plug any toxic emissions?


IdleBoast

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Reply #233 on: October 16, 2018, 10:06:51 PM
Hold your nose and declare; "I'm going in!"








If you want a slap.


psiberzerker

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Reply #234 on: October 16, 2018, 10:16:56 PM
Hopefully, she'll take the hint, and report "Fire in the hole!"

No wait.  Knowing Jed's sense of humor, that may be a bad idea.


Offline Jed_

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Reply #235 on: October 17, 2018, 03:02:45 AM
Quote from: psiberzerker on October 16, 2018, 10:16:56 PM
Hopefully, she'll take the hint, and report "Fire in the hole!"

No wait.  Knowing Jed's sense of humor, that may be a bad idea.



Do you think I might dip my finger in hot sauce?


psiberzerker

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Reply #236 on: October 17, 2018, 03:09:31 AM
Quote from: Jed_ on October 17, 2018, 03:02:45 AM
Do you think I might dip my finger in hot sauce?

Well, I was thinking about lighting a match, and the methane.  Then, I guess you could cool it off by massaging the area with Chili sauce, or aloe Vera.


ChirpingGirl

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Reply #237 on: October 17, 2018, 03:20:22 AM
If it makes anyone feel worse, I was just told by wifey she can't wait to get my head between her legs tonight.  :roll:


Offline Jed_

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Reply #238 on: October 17, 2018, 03:22:41 AM
Quote from: ChirpingGirl on October 17, 2018, 03:20:22 AM
If it makes anyone feel worse, I was just told by wifey she can't wait to get my head between her legs tonight.  :roll:


I hope you didn’t feed her any beans. . . .


ChirpingGirl

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Reply #239 on: October 17, 2018, 03:26:31 AM
Quote from: Jed_ on October 17, 2018, 03:22:41 AM
Quote from: ChirpingGirl on October 17, 2018, 03:20:22 AM
If it makes anyone feel worse, I was just told by wifey she can't wait to get my head between her legs tonight.  :roll:


I hope you didn’t feed her any beans. . . .

That's disgusting. Thank you for ruining the evening for me.  :roll:


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